If My Life Were A Novel...

rambol

2010-07-19T10:06:00.000-07:00

if i was to describe my 'perfect partner' it would sound a lot like myself, except they wouldn't have my weaknesses. people think that's retarded... sometimes i like to run through 'normal logic' to check where my perspective on random things differs from the norm, i just aspire to be the things that i love, and since i'm a traditionalist to a degree (want kids and women have vaginas), i like the idea of my partner being someone i respect, not just an attractive other end to an exchange of pleasures one can't have alone.

so why would someone want to be with someone different to them? how do you respect attributes of a person if they aren't ones you desire to have yourself?

- people settle, /story.

i don't want to fucking settle. i want a woman to catch me off guard, read my soul, and only settle for me because i'm the best compromise they've found (obviously the practicality of their commitment is tied to their want for children in my poorly thought out visual)

i'm a reacher (howimeturmother ftw), but i've never met a person on my level with a vag.

wonder if i'll get what i want... i did realise that i am ok with not having everything the day i realised i wasn't going to be able to fly and fire energy blasts, because my kid(s) will be far better than me, and i guess feeling proud of offspring is something i'm really looking forward to (just preferably with someone cool leaning on me and sharing a smile)

kinda leads to another thought i have a lil bit; 'we only live once'. most people are naturally concerned with regrets based on personal experience that relate to happiness/similar, i instinctively however am jealous to a degree of people who have experienced great loss. it just makes sense to me that a parent who has lost a child, or a partner who's soulmate* died have some kind of profound natural thought due to understanding real pain.

*choice of word used to describe death occurring at relationship high point, /emphasis.

i yearn to understand this kind of feeling because i was brought up on fiction, and in a fictional format people can be perfect* - the hero can always conquer all when they're filled with the rage of losing their most important person/in a situation where they need to protect them.

*characters that are created have more drive than people are capable of (at least all of the ones i've met), and their drive is based on morals they've committed to in ways that really can't be matched in any realistic setting. they make more sense to me than anything 'real' does, since the reality of what comprises a person is based on so many different weaknesses, the core of which is generally the want to feel validated. we all suck, and i hate that i can understand what being perfect is, but have no way to achieve it, so, much as i hope nothing bad ever happens to anyone i care a great deal for, i hate that i'll never get to be the version of myself that's driven to live for them if they died, since we only live once etc..

its funny how insignificant thoughts can feel when written compared to the weight they carry when you share them in person with someone, so i'm not sure if you understand the depth that what i'm talking about carries. the random crap i spewed in those couple of paragraphs is more than 99.X% of people will realise in their lifetime

stating this isn't a brag, its venting some hate on the Fworld for producing someone like me and not making other creatures of my species to play with. also i'm editing this in to block future thoughts i might have when rereading this because I'M A BIG F NIT OBVIOUSLY.

i used to think i was a good writer. lol. i still hope i put together a book before i die though.

lih fey

2010-07-14T00:16:00.000-07:00

still in a long downswing (about 1 month), my biggest ever (it usually is), so life feels kinda crappy atm.

*stuck like 40k

*had 3 dental appointments so far (1 root canal, 3 fillings, and gum cleaning), and have 1 more to *go, followed by wisdom teeth out

*bricked with a couple of women i had hopes for

*bought ~8k worth of tournament action, like 12 tournaments total, not even a mincash

*people i'm staking suck, and i'm down like 6k so far

on the +side its mainly money issues, and i'm lucky enough to have lots of money to complain about losing, so not all bad obv - keep it in perspective etc..

going to Queenstown next week, so hopefully win 100k and get unstuck :)

just played some football in the domain with randoms today, was pretty nice. lots of people messing around starting games in the park, so hopefully get to play some more before the worldcup hype dies down.

i'd like to go wakeboarding sometime.

idk where would be good tho

Brrrrr winter komst

2010-06-13T04:57:00.000-07:00

good thing i just bought a $500 electric blanket, enjoy your cold toes tonight suckers.

- i'm seen by most as a conceited douchebag, and it bothers me that people are mistaking my honesty and drive for bad character traits (usually because people don't like being the least smart in a conversation). i just embrace the childish competitiveness that almost all of us have (infact, i haven't met anyone under 60 who doesn't have it). cliffs of a little whine, that i don't want to drag out - i also wrote while high, but felt i should leave up. lol.

pokerwise life is pretty good, had half of Cole in the Christchurch donkament +15k, then we made a trip to Macau and he won ~210k nzd (had half again), so that was pretty sweet + i purchased these sick headphones endorsed by Dre in HK.

I've also been playing some 5knl, running fine, feel good about my game overall, on track for SNE, and recently started staking some ppl for 200nl, + just bought some wsop action (can be followed here)

next stop for us on the donkament circuit is Queenstown ANZPT, and we'll hopefully get a few days of snowboarding before/after (i announced i'd probably be good, and everyone told me i'm going to be terrible, so might try to workout some kind of bet)

womenwise; nothing too stellar going on, but have someone i plan on pursuing, so at least there's a tick in a box somewhere for something.

quit cigarettes again, hopefully permanently this time... been smoking more weed though to cease craving, which is hurting my diet a little - Cole's mum is a sick chef, and delivers food to her only son weekly, i can't resist good lasagne :(

pictoral cliffs of hk/macau trip:

hotel lobby

view from window

grinnding

ducy

buildings like this are really cool to me

familiar?

i know my blogs have low content and infrequent recently. life is good tho.

editing in a sweet link which contains thoughts of smart lazy ppl in frog form

Sorry

2010-03-04T04:21:00.001-08:00

for the lack of pics.

nothing overly exciting to report:

Slinky was average (don't really like hard house)

Ryan moved into our place

No longer seeing a girl i was quite into

Seeing a different girl i am also quite into

Keeping more in touch with Nikki recently

Back on another shitty diet

Hired a pretty sick poker player to coach me at MSNL FR, and have been enjoying the back and forth, despite my initial skepticism

Currently in Melbourne, heading to Adelaide tomorrow for "womad", but it'll probably be more about catching up with people and multiple dentist visits :(

yawn

The smallest of months

2010-02-02T15:46:00.000-08:00

has just begun, and i'm off to a lazy start... just booked a small weiner to start off the month online, and am about to goto the bank and deposit a brick of 100s from luckboxing 3rd in a donkament..

http://www.skycityauckland.co.nz/Casino/Poker-Zone/Auckland-Anniversary-Poker-Championships.html

- payouts listed are innaccurate (i likehow they publish the false info with 100% awareness because they actually think that will affect their customer base more than them revealing how douche they are to the customers they already have)

anyway i actually received this much:

cole is spending his half on a yellow altezza, and i'll just buy food i guess.

we've acquired some art:

"Crumpet the Owl"

other stuff is cool too, even if i am a complete retard with women occasionally.

Hopefully Feburary won't be too lazy (though David is most likely going to be moving out, and other shit is going on, so i can see not playing enough)

flatwarming this weekend, since its Waitangi Day, bro. so might puts some pics up on fb... hopefully get some interest from other good poker ppl, and lockdown a new roomie who is of more similar mind to Cole and I.

cu after slinky :)

edit: we're trying to think of cool custom number plates atm, so far: NIT, BADLAG, and IMAVAG are top contenders

new house + good NYs

2010-01-01T01:37:00.000-08:00

firstly some pics of the place:

having a whiteboard is so sick (November on the other hand was pretty bad for all of us)

4 ensuites crucial :)

have a good local gym, and am goign to be playign 40hr weeks as of 10hrs from now, with 4/5 gym sessions/week.

been playing a bit of sport recently also - netball is a pretty decent game where soul reading from our side has been deestroing our opponents as of late.

took something last night at a house dance party in town, was semi dissapointing initially, but i ended up having the one of the best night of my life (due to a bunch of other cool things, admittedly).

looking forward to the grinnd, and posting some nice results :) should also be playing any live donkaments in auckland with 1-3k BI throughout the year, so hopefully run good etc and scoop.

I'm a pretty weak blogger these days, but hopefully now that 'holiday season' is over i'll have more time (i.e. my working friends will have less time), so i'll try a bit more.

cheers

So November started...

2009-11-08T05:22:00.000-08:00

..with one of these:

in the form of:

click pix to enlarge

bleh. taken a couple days off, and i'm ready to get back into it :) if i can recover over the next 10days i'll be content, so i'll set a semi-low bar.

really looking forward to getting back to NZ, and into a nice routine. nothing else very interesting to report...been having a bit of an alternate life in dream land last couple of nights, and getting back into chess a little after watching "Searching for Bobby Fischer".

ttys :)

I was up late anyway

2009-10-31T07:11:00.000-07:00

And my month clocked over on Holdem Manager, so here's my October (well the last 2wks anyway)

click pic to enlarge

all 200nl, will move back to 400 when i have 22k roll, but have to move into new place (we have to buy furniture :/) etc.. so it'll prob be late Nov/Dec before i'm 'back'

fwiw i ran into the top of so many ppls ranges that i didn't even feel like i ran good (i know what that feels like btw). felt like something needed to be said since i ran at almost 200%. fu is wot.

speaking of fu, if you haven't read FFFFFFUUUUUUUUUU, and FFFFFFYEEEEEEEEAAAAHHHH, i really recommend you give them a skim at least (provided you <3 the internet)

additional link if you enjoyed

little example:

booked tix for Adelaide, died my hair black (look kinda emo tbh), and starting tomorrow am gonna be on a pretty srs diet (as trial), since i've been drinking and binging with mum and sis on occasion (they keep way too much nice food in the house).

we have locked down the house we wanted in Auckland (ty dave), sexy 4bdrm place by the domain in Newmarket with... FOUR bathrooms. crucial. hopefully have some pix up by end of Nov.

Back

2009-10-27T06:39:00.000-07:00

hey. its been a while, and a lot has happened, but i don't think i'm going to put together a great summary with my limited time atm, so i'll give some awfully short cliffs.

- original shifu (master) left our academy (his friend was fired without pay, and they were both lifelong friends from the same city in south china). i was sad.

- made a good friend, who improved my willpower - Josh.

- smoked a lot of hash, and had some good conversations with people

- learnt a bit of chinese (forgot a bit of japanese)

- gained awesome shifu who can do basically everything, and hope to find a way for him to teach in AU/NZ (he desires this)

- lost 21kg (1kg was probably chest hair tho ;)

- no longer am pursuing Nikki

- am excited about 2010 (planning on living with David and Cole, and making a bunch of gold with GTs along the way)

China and Japan photos on facebook

atm my daily routine consists of rebuilding roll, making plans for the next couple of months, getting to the gym, and trying to hang a bit with my sis (seems to take up my day quickly). trying to fit a trip to Adelaide to see people before i have to head back to Akl (oh yeh, we're going to be living in Auckland for the majority of 2010 - hopefully with a couple months holiday in Europe at the end of the year), but i think i only have about 3 weeks before that happens, so idk if i can fit it (i can ldo, but its probably better to rebuild my roll [am +3k in EV since back tho, oops :P], ugh, priorities..)

missed my flight from Tokyo to Melbourne, and had to buy another :/ i think i've missed 2/40ish lifetime, pretty bad tbh. that 48hr period made me feel like i'd had a bad enough beat to be living Roo's life (notorious for having 'everything goes wrong' days, usually topped off by a car accident - hence my lack of drivers' licence?)

hopefully i'll put together a TR on my time in China when i'm more free (december perhaps), will definitely do if i can get Dave to copy/paste my iPhone notes onto my PC (took daily notes)

now that this is out of the way, i will hopefully be updating on a (near)weekly basis with my movements, and poker stuff :)

Peece

my girlfriend knows who sephiroth is

2009-06-30T20:35:00.000-07:00

Well that's half true, and not in the way i wanted. being with her showed me how far from 'having everything' one person will always be, a good thing to become more aware of i guess as we compromise our way towards inevitable death. hah, i'm not that emo yet :)

Roo is going through something similar with her partner, except she is accepting of their 'want to be free' (maybe she realises that trying to change that want causes a viscious cycle), and i kind of admire that. I've never been goiod at giving people credit for understanding their wants/themselves in that spot tho. isn't it funny how change is always required? props to arranged marriages ldo.

My experience in Japan was pretty sick - i'm using a starbux comp @ Tokyo airport at the moment, about to head out to the land where you byo toilet paper, so i won't get into it too much.. Nikki was a good host, and organised a few cool things to do, pretty epic times tbh, and its nice to be in love in a new exciting place. i remember infy train rides with 40kg of luggage, sweating profusely, but feeling so content - enter kid in candy store, tho apparently i'm less wide-eyed.

the 7elevens in Japan (who started the chain fyfi) play a weird lyricless version of summer night (Grease - i mention the film because i dunno if its actually 'Summer Lovin'), maybe that's why Jap guys like driving cars fast?

My buddy Spratty (sorry i don't mention you more) has about 10 days to complete a little mission or i'ma life block him. gl tho sir, ship the tr.

bleh, 40secs left. gg all. wml.

Soooo....

2009-06-22T15:34:00.000-07:00

apparently i've never been as drunk as i was last night, before. i woke up to an alarm at 7am this morning, my woman not in my bed, and my pants removed. i'm trying to put it all together.. there is a glass of water 80% full by my bed, i bet Nikki made me drink it before i slept, so i had a little sip, then smashed my face into the pillow.

see fb for a bunch of photos

Japan is amazing, and keeps reminding me of the phrase "Hauntingly Beautiful" (ty HIMUM), but i never find good spots to use it :)

all i want right now is some of this.

Pic TR

2009-06-01T00:51:00.000-07:00

6k day is ok :) good to know ur luckbox still works occasionally.

- btw i really wanted to surprise you all and get a vid up on youtube of a few of us playing this song

lineup:

Jo, Dave, and I on the iPhone Ocarina

how cool is that app srsly, their company also made a leaf trombone app similar to guitar hero, only impossible, and just recently released voice altering software so u can make bomb threats and sheeeet. <3

Daz on guitar hero drums, and Shaun dancing and clapping to boost morale (ldo ;)

- guess we were all too busy, + Roo came over, and we ended up not. soz. its a mini goal of mine to be on youtube sometime.

Last Poker Update

2009-05-31T04:41:00.000-07:00

For a while, hopefully.

Well I made it through 8/9 levels, before getting stacked in the ME. I've seriously lost every flip outside of one 6BB one (discluding durign rebuy period), i'm such a whiney little bitch atm.

can't really be fucked getting into it tbh, i played good all day, picked my 3b spots well

- i'd been nitty for 2 orbits, when utg+1 opens to 625 at 150/300, i know he's weak, and 3b JxThto 2025, (he starts hand with 8.5k, i cover) he flats 99, and it comes 9h7h3h, he crai, i call, 8 on trn, 8 on river (epitome of std).

- i chip up well though, and finally have back to just over average stack when i get QQ AIpre vs the table monkey (loud Greek douchebag), his AK flops a pair on KJTr Qo trn, 6x riv, and he cannot stfu. that tilted me. i mucked my cards into his face. then i felt better :)

decided not to play the day 1 repechange, live poker is just too much of a grind.

- good thing for online poker tho, after cashing out more gold for my trip i left 27k online, but after 2 sessions in the last day, i only have 22k, and i don't even know what my equity was since my fucking HeM decided to die, and the cocksucker on their help boards TYPES EVERYTHING IN CAPS, and just repeats himself a lot. sighs.

sidenote: I like how Vista makes you feel like the boss

If i ever click cancel, i'm always thinking 'Deny'

i also love:

feel like i should spend more time with my mum and sis while i am here, but just wind up being in shitty moods due to poker, so i can't really stand my mum's nagging, and bonnie is a teenager, so she has 101 lolbad priorities, so i don't really feel like i can connect (its hard to influence teenagers frontally, ldo).

played squash with mum today tho, kinda cool game.

idk if trades work, but if i win back 15k before i goto China, i'll spend a month being really nice to strangers. maybe i'll do that anyway sometime.

- the last time i felt my life was at a crux, i had an 8k roll, and i was moving to NZ. The future nears again, and i'm hardly any more prepared.

peece, K.

I'll take the usual, thanks

2009-05-27T23:57:00.001-07:00

just busted out of the 5k nlh, so i bought a kebab, and found myself smiling while spilling it on my white jumper, standing in the rain, because for the first time in what seems like forever, i do not feel alone. I feel like i have a partner.

back to how i fial though:

i did 2 arguabley bad things in today's donkament (tho i still believe they were +EV)

1. 100/200, i open to 525 from HJ with red TT, CO flats (bad tag), BB calls (lag fish - sammy youseff).

KdJd7c, checks through.

Jo trn, BB checks, i check, btn bets 1100, BB folds, i decide he has like no jacks in his range except AJ (and probably onyl AJs), so i flat.

5o river, i check, he bets 5k, i call kinda fast, and he shows AJs.

2. First hand back after break, 2 ppl at table (old hunchback crown reg semi nit in SB), its ante level, i open to 550, he 3b to 1600, i 4b to 4k (figure i have to size larger vs live fish), he shoves, i fold 75o.

outside of this i played extremely well, i even c/f 33 on 873r as the pfr, and paid a guy $100 to show me a set, and he had 77, fucking send.

was about to double up through a lag who was kinda tilted by me, with AKo, but we were cold 4b by a chick, i folded and the lag folded AQo faceup after 2min or so :(

Ended up getting my 10k stack AI at 200/400/50 with AKo vs JJ, and losing the flip.

- only 1 event left, and i am in a good mood to play it :)

PLOr

2009-05-26T09:07:00.000-07:00

Poker update fyi

Ran hot at start, so only had to rebuy+addon 5 times, and had almost 2x average after rebuy period. played solid, making good barrels, and lots of steals. decided to tarp with AJK5 on AJ2r HU as the pft, guy pots, i tank flat, 6o trn, i check, he pots again, leaving himself less than a minraise, i send, he snaps, then says "fuck, i misread my hand, thought i had Jack Six!!" rolls over JT97r for the drawing dead, damn bro, pity u didn't have that jack and six.

- there were 61 runners, and infinite rebuys, so they paid top 9, i decided to lose the following 5 allins in a row starting with 15 ppl remaining:

1: I'd been tight for a couple of orbits, and 3b a guy i'd been sitting with for 4hrs or so, it was my first 3b since the rebuys ended.

600/1200, he opens to 3200 (after just winning the last pot), i 3b pot to 10200 tot with KhQxJh5h , and he decides to call with 14k behind (i have like 55k at this point). sigh

9d6d5x, i stick it in, and he tanks for a couple mins and calls with KxQyTc6c saying "I've got some catching up to do"

obviously that's impossible to win, but so gross he has that hand etc..

i chip up via the croc (pwnt), just barreled him small twice, and floated him once, then he gets AIpre with 6677r vs AA73ds (not vs me). lul, he was calling me by my name today out of respect i assume, and apologised for his behavious. what a turdlet. (i'm back at around 46k)

2: i open utg on AZN shortstack's BB with AKQ4ds, he decided to put in his 10.5k with JJ62hhh (i don't have hearts)

he flops a FD then completes, and it just bricks off. wp.

3: i open btn with AcTs7y5s nitty old ethnic guy flats with less than a PSB behind at 800/1600, 642r, i put it in, and he calls with 5778r which holds. nh.

4: guy to my left whose position as table lag i'd overtaken quickly, 3bs me with AxKd9d9y, and i get in most of my stack with JJ62ds (live suits), Khi flop, i make a FD on trn, but brick, and have 7k left.

5: Vnext hand i have QhQx5y6h, i pot it (6handed fyi), folds to SB who gets in AAXY with nut hearts, BB folds 4567 faceup after i put my chips in out of turn.

Ace in the window.

gg.

- so frustrated.... first place was like 16k or so.

feeling good about other things though :)

6m donkament starts in 9hrs, pretty good structure, looking forward to it.

edit: to anyone else who'se been following, chur, and i'll have some decent updates about non-poker things soon.

omg did u guise sea? a gurl posted a comment on my poast :-)

ANZPT

2009-05-25T04:23:00.000-07:00

Goto 8:50 in

meet Billy "The Croc" Argyros, epic douchebag. also known for being a pos to ivey during the above cash game,

3b billy twice, he limps utg i figure he's like 100% small-med pps, so iso to 850 at 100/200/25 with T8o, fish 2 seats left of me flats, billy l/calls.

966r i opt to 3barrel bricks, so i start with 1175 when checked to, fish folds billy flats.

Ko trn, i decide he's not going to give my 3barrel value range as much credit, so i opt to check back, planning on fake Vbetting most rivers.

9o river, well this is a terrible river to fake Vbet imo, luckily he donks 1600 and NEVER EVER has a 9 here, so i make it 4625 pretty fast, and he folds quickly.

3b him a 3rd time he's down to like 12k at this point, he leans forward and stares at me as he calls, trying to slow me down etc.. with some random speech, i tell him he should focus on what's on the flop anyway, as i cbet and take it down again :)

just before the 2nd break, 3 limp and some guy shoves for 8k billy wakes up with QQ, calls and holds vs KJ, so he has about 22k when the following hand comes up.

billy opens MP2 to 1200 at 200/400/50, i flat CO with AdQx, btn flats, blinds folds.

QxTd2d, billy checks, i check because btn bets any piece, and can't fold to flop c/raises he has a little less thna me fyi (me 40k, billy 22k, btn 28-30k), but sadly he checks back.

9d trn, billy leads 1300, i decide to valueraise to 3225, btn folds, billy makes it 9k fast, i tank a bit and decide he's probably makign his stand with JdT or AxJd or has middle 2 maaaybe, and end up shoving, he snap calls, stands up, and tables KdJd, and asks really loud if i'm drawing dead, i roll my hand over, and he tells the dealer to hold the deck, tells his friends on other tables he's getting it in great vs the dry Ace of Diamonds, then calls for the 8d so that he'd make a straight flush, i lol, and say sure, he realises he's a moron then says Queen of Diamonds!, and the Qd rolls off. what a piece of shit, the nitfish gets pwnt all day, then thinks he outplayed me when he has to make a stand not to die, and has the absolute pinnacle of his range (tbh he probably has flushes more than i assumed with his 1/4pot trn bet). anyway, annoying, he's a total piece of shit.

Julius Colman, looks like an old nit, and definitely used to play like one when he was aired on the FT of the 07 Aussie Millions FT, but is kindof a lag in disguise, but i was the only one who really noticed, i still 3b him a couple of times successfully, floated an Ahi dry flop vs him too (no showdown), and it had been a couple of orbits since i fucked with him.

he opens MP2 to 1100 at 200/400/25, he only has about 13.5k to start hand, i 3b to 2875 with T7o, he tanks for like 3min, and opts to flat (i figured he'd fold/shove, and assume he plans on shoving some flops on me)

KdJx5d, i decide to make a fake inducament with 1350, but he bites and raises to 4k, however he did it within 3 seconds, and he usually takes a long time with decisions, so i assumed he was either weak, or levelling, and went for a shove after a little thought. he snap calls :(

with 9d7d!!! holds ffs :)

brick on trn, and offsuit 9 on river (ldfo)

sighs.

I finally cooler someone a few hands later when i peel AJo IP on a MP opener vs his KQ and hold after a KQTr flop.

goto dinner with some of the young aussie donkamentors, and come back after a lamb salad feeling refreshed.

get moved to a new table 10mins in, 3b vs utg with 99 first hand (he had like 13BB), fold to a 3b shove from 14BB stack with QJo, then...

I 3b this asian kid who seems ok from SB vs his HJ open, i hold A5o, and he opts to micro 4b my 4225 to 8500 he has 34k to start, and i cover slightly. i consider shoving, but decide to take a stronger line in crai flops + i figure my shove there is too exploitable with my holding, probably ship if suited (mainly because i might not realise this line is better, and i'm ok with 70/30s etc..), anyway

976r, and he checks back (sweet, he bought my repping JJ+ and should fold to barrel trn/shove river)

8s trn, yay :) now i just bluffcatch, but will ship river if he checks back, he bets 14k, and i raise AI

he ginned me with T4o and i don't chop, so i have 3600 which i ship from CO 2 hands later into his BB with A7o he wakes up A9 and peels a 9 on trn, gfg u little cocksucker, thanks for the handshake, wp bro, nh.

/lifetilt, i'm so much better at poker than all of these retards, but there is no redemption at all, i don't even have as much money as 90% of them, so i can't even flip them for their rolls. ffs.

sigh, i suck. 9hrs of playing pretty optimal too.. hopefully ship the 5k event in a couple days (apparently only going to be 45 runners or so) - maybe i'll stack 'the croc'? :)

What its like to lose 10k in < 48hrs

2009-05-22T02:01:00.000-07:00

just numbers on a screen right?

They are most of the time, but when i lose lots of buyins to retards/coolers/etc.. i feel really defeated. The hands don't even matter, i played good all day, except for the last hand, but that was only a 1k pot.

Bad days in poker make you feel like absolutely everything in your life is going the worst it could possibly go. Sure soem other stuff in my life is far from ideal atm, but i still have lots of good things to look forward to.

I usually feel heaps pent up for a few hours afterwards, or until i find a trigger to release me. Its a combination of rage and depression, and i feel so helpless inside my own skin.

I want to be in China right now trading heavy punches with someone with the exact same endurance & skill as me, until we both collapse.

I want to cry.

I want to have really rough sex.

Cigarette wouldn't be bad.

Going to get a beer now.

The bottom line is a feeling of lonliness/emptiness

- the best part of days like these is getting to the point where I realise my life is still better than so many other ppls, and that i'm a lucky individual to have decent understanding of things, and strong connections to respectable people.

ladies and gentleman, that's where i'm headed (albeit hardly there atm). I get so pumped up to make myself the person i see myself as being after little wakeup calls like this, guess i'm goign jogging tomorrow :) or watching a season of something with a carton of beer.

- sidenote: Time being a means for conflict resolution has always annoyed me, moreso that i understand it, yet it still applys to me.

I have just over 30k online now, + a bit of live cash, figure i'm about to spend 10k (at least) over the next 6months, so i'm now thinking about not playing the donkaments i was going to.... hopefully i'll bounce back by tomorrow lunch when they start... altough i am quite ill atm (cold thingee)

churs, K.

Little Pokeher TR

2009-05-21T06:50:00.000-07:00

2.5k under equity in some plo this morning and lost 3.5kish. felt like poos a bit mroe than usual.

- made a trip to crown to play some cash

won a bit with some barrels at 2/5, then got my 5/10 seat - only had 2400 in cash, so bought in for 1k (its 2k max).

first hand - utg straddles couple limps, i complete Ad4x, straddle checks

Jd2d3x, i donk 40, folds to btn who makes it 90, i flat planning on donking diamonds (probably pot barreling riv bricks too).

Ao trn, check, check

Tx river, i bet 210, he calls pretty fast, and tables KK in disgust (lul)

10hands later same villain overlimps (no straddle) i make it 60 with black 77 IP, 2 flats.

JT7r, check, check, 130 from me, same villain as last hand calls.

Ko trn, he crai over my 230 bet for 800ish total, i snap.

Tx river, he doesn't slowroll with KT :(

i iso and cbet a lil, and have about 1300 when 5 limp, i make it 90 with AKo, 5 way to

A23r, all check to me, i bet 160, and find 1 caller (some old guy)

5s turn, he checks (eff stacks are 800), and i don't want to b/c or b/f so i check back planning to re-ev based on his sizing on river, or Vbet if checked to

Tx river, he bet 100, i tank a bit and opt to raise to 375 he moans and calls with worse

finally i have a hand when it's Emad's straddle (my button) black JJ, i open to 65 after its been folded to me, SB 3bets to 185, i call 1700ish eff stax.

993r, he checks after a bit of thought, and leans back in his chair kinda fidgety, which makes me decide that he's weak so i opt to bet 225, he adjust a little more, and raises to 500, i go with my read and flat.

Jo trn, he bets 325 (everything except his 1k chip - lol) i flat after a little tank.

Jo river, he checks (lul), i ship, he thinks a min and calls 680ish.

2mins later he claims he had A9, lol there was no way. he was a steamy villain, if i'd have sucked out on him, i'm sure i would have seen his hand + he didn't steam, there for he had to have TT or AK/AQ/AX

Emad had 3b me twice so far (bad sizing too fwiw), and i'd folded, i open Qd4d to 65 into his straddle and he makes it 200, i call semifast planning on floating/making plays post flop as opposed to 4b.

JT8r with a diamond, he bets 275, i flat pretty quick.

5d trn, he bets 450 with 2k behind, i tank for a while and shove (i really felt like i gave off physical tells of weakness, felt like such a noob), i cover btw, he moans a bit, but calls with AA, and holds in a 5800ish pot my biggest live pot ever (definitely top 3 biggest ever inc online - biggest ever depending on Xrates).

sigh.

next hand i finally straddle (now that i'm SS'd), 4 limps, i shove 77 for 370 more, utg limper calls with A2s, all other fold, i lose.

reload.

ISO'd a couple with A2o,

345r, someone c/r my 165cbet to 450 and folds to a shove for 350ish more. lol.

- i end up down $50 for the session, the table breaks a couple orbits after Emad leaves since nobody wanted to play 3max/HU.

i also had a sesh at crown before my Adel trip, i lost $666, so i'm stuck 700ish atm. donkaments start soon, yay :)

catchya on tha flip

noisette for the druse?

2009-04-26T22:55:00.001-07:00

I started this post a decent while ago, was going to give cliffs about a fun weekend, but now lots of the specifics have left me, and i have other things on my mind.

- currently in my hotel room in Adelaide, recovering from a cold. I'll leave my original post as is, but wrap up the end, then go on with other stuffs.

"The last 20 hours (pretend i'd written this immediately after what i'm about to mention) were a great way to remember the GTs with my small group of Auckland friends, hopefully it's a memory that will last :)

Dave had a birthday dinner and drinks shindig at 7pm on saturday (20 runners), and after a tilted shaun drove off in shirt + jeans without daz and I, we opted to Suit Up!(tm) and cab down there with fashionable lateness. We had the 2nd floor (never know if i should say 1st, or 2nd, so u geddit nao i assume) at Molten on Mt Eden Rd, which had great food, and the company made for choice atmosphere - i could have been tarped by the dimmer switch tho.

Ended up being seated next to Jo's friend Kate, who arrived just in time to save me from being setup with Dave's sister in law by her mother (i swear to F gawd), and was a decent person to have a conversation with, even if half of my conversations while stoned are just bouncing thoughts off ppl/tripping over them - tho i think i was ok in that spot : )

Daz sent me a couple of sms while on the opposite side of the table, and then tried to be straight faced (probably due to paranoia of being 'busted'), was funny - just like my friend Jo, who ended up being 80/20 (socialising/networking) with Dave's father (Kate thought 90/10, i was closer to 60/40). I was lolling with Jo, after a seat shift, for most of our time in Molten, at one point we were on such a roll that any word i forced out of my mouth whilst we were both trying to halt the lawls would send her, and thus me, back to loland (i believe 'maori', and even 'poos', got a mention). One of those spots that's hard to describe, but epic to be involved in ldo, hope i did okay.

lmao dave had organised seating (it was 1 giant table - 5 per side), and the gentleman that he had seated to his immideate right - who made V little conversation throughout the evening, would stare jo down whenever she laughed (hyena laugh ftr), i couldn't stop lolling at the thought of him breathing really loud while flaring his nostrils. fwiw i think dave did a good job with the seating. Dave's dad was quite funny - though a lot of it may not have been intentinal (not in a bad way, i was just in the right som), had some interesting things to discuss/povs, and paid for dinner (ty)."

- after dinner we went out

dave, chris, and I pulled an all nighter playing mtg, and i laughed for 3-6 hrs at the sound of the word 'lewn' (2nd winds ftw), then ppl started waking up, we got cafe brekkie, and played this awesome game called balderdash, which resulted in a good sweat, and involved a little soulreading.

the following i had also jotted down, and was planning on merging them, but i cbf apu, and don't really mind 'dot pointing'.

* I'm so full of rage sometimes, want cigarette pretty bad when i feel that way, figure this is part of the physical addiction to nicotine, so i'll hopefully get over it sometime (doesn't help that i'm an extremist on the legit). fwiw haven't been feeling like a cigarette since, though kamilah is now smoking again, and it did seem like fun.

* I have nfi if i can change the part of me that hates people. I don't think existences are equal, and, although i do appreciate my 'good luck', and am Vpolite to good hardworking folk, i feel obligated to bring down people who overrate themselves, especially when their 'purpose' is ridiculously meaningless.

So.. I've moved out of NZ, and am staying with my mum and sis until i next depart - Taiwan, on June 11th, after which I'm planning on going to a monastery in china on July 1st (maybe i'll get seconds on my dinner when its my B'day? omnomnom)

Roo came over to help reduce my excess baggage costs, unfortunately she had to do a bit of uni stuff while here, but we still had some decent ops to hang - went jogging in the cbd half exercise/half tour, that was pretty cool, and she can still give me piggy bax which i used to be fond of

(wheee, i think others have more pics, if i get them, i'll add).

We played a sng, which was pretty funny, killed some zombies, and Roo'n'I talked a bit about my thoughts on some probs + some of her own. good trades.

My memory is kinda failing atm..
My sis has a boyfriend, she's paranoid about intro'ing him to me. makes sense i guess. she's such a teenager right now, i can't really do anything except laugh/smile though, much as i wish i could be a positive influence on her - tho one of my best friends is teachign me that even if you can influence someone in a way you are certain is positive for them, allowing them to choose their path via other means is more pure.

My sister 'in-law' has a 18month old son. i like talking to children of that age like they are anyone else. my womanly bits get all maternal sometimes, i think sunlight is a factor (sunglight also gives +5 to dexterity while playign golf, if u didn't know already).

- i hate bright unnatural light btw, if you've ever tried turning a ceiling light on in my room you'd know that tho. unsure if i've jotted that down ftr, so excuse the possible re-itteration (which i'm sure i do too much of - a general apology, rather).

I'm going through a bit of a thing with Nikki at the moment, and its making it harder for me to be her friend, which i sense she needs. I care about her just enough that it is too much for me to not get messed up by some of her choices, and in turn she gets stuck between 2 worlds (at least in moments) since she cares about me and my feelings. the best choice for us is probably just for me to let go - i'm not really sure how 'free' she feels atm, knowing that i still think about her often etc...and that detracts from a lot of what she wanted out of what she is doing now/near future. i was left hoping she'll shift in a way that i want (i'd had that thought for a while), but i always knew i could never accept her on terms like that, and now that she's drifting more in the opposite direction, it may the best time to say goodbye to her.

http://www.wimp.com/japanesecomedians/
must suss imho.

- Both Roo, and Ella are going through some shit atm also, its ncie to have ppl in a similarish spot to trade whines with, espec ones that know you well. Feel bad for R, and am kinda glad for E though.

Vic champs are starting in a few days @ Crown, hopefully win some gold, then learna bit of mandarin in taiwan + be touristy maybes, before i become 'another' (i have a feeling) white guy throwing punches on old concrete because they watched too many martial arts films/beat off to dbz. good thing i like to compete with myself, the first place i go to will probably not be much more than a window (they have the internet [ffs!?], unsure if iz win/lose), but its a start. I'm not sure if i want to committ to that kind of lifestyle permanently, but this time, i don't feel like making any predictions (ty).

- I hate writing emo stuff here because i'm usually just more on 1 side of the coin than the other on a given day, so i don't really feel like i'm summarising my feeling adequately, but i do come off like i enjoy deepthroating a cock or 2. gg me. figured some of you would like a little update on my romantic sitch.
I'll probably have left all of these thoughts behind me in a couple of months anyway, idk if i'll be updatign while i'm in china, if not, feel free to assume that i'm in good shape, and picture me doing 2 finger pushup competitions with 10yo monks, losing my food coupons, then thinking he got lucky 'again' as he's chuckling and getting his fist bumped by his homies.

Untitled

2009-04-18T04:02:00.000-07:00

I learnt a couple of pretty significant things recently:

there are no takebacks in life

i have limitations

- I had a pregnancy scare with this girl i saw for sex a few times (6-8 months ago) recently, i do not respect her at all, and she would not have an abortion. Many terrible visuals ran through my head, and i realised how badly i did not want to be in that situation. I can't believe i was having unprotected sex, when that outcome is a risk of the mediocre release i got out of it. I just had this sick feeling like everything was alligned for me to be taking my 'first big hit' in life, and because i could imagine the reality of it all, i think i've made a little adjustment to my take on some things (basically i'm probably going to be more of a nit). Either way someppl like to be a week late, and i fucking got there

omfg am i relieved. received a text this morning, and even though my head hurts from colliding with my pool wall, and my neck is fucked from my attempt to expand my wasted-dancing jutsu, i felt perfect (even if that only lasts the second prior to you trying to move a sore muscle in celebration)

- couple of nights ago i decided i could lift the maximum on the pec machine in our gym, and attempted it. failed even though i tried as hard as i possibly could... this is where part of me wants to know what kind of person you become when you have to live for deceased loved ones as well as yourself, and how strong your will would be. I always pictured myself being able to sprint 100km if i need to, well anything, as long as the right goal was in place. hopefully i'm not wrong about myself, and that if a situation arrives where i need to protect someone that i love, i will be able to acheive anything. fml for being brought up on anime, i guess :)

In the spirit of some of the above, and because my 2nd lifeplan (the 1st was father/son streetlight fixing team with my dad, i was 4-6yo) was to become a ninja, I've decided that i want to go to China and live+study martial arts (though someone with a bit more information on it recommended Taiwan, so either/or are poss). I've spent so much of my life caring about 'having a partner', and there are many times where i have hated myself for having such weak thoughts, so i feel obligated to live 'alone' for a while. i was also considering doing some kind of epic walk, tho i was recently informed the great wall wouldn't be how i'd been visualising it, bitchin'.

- I hope i end up sticking with that, but there are other pressing matters, well actually just money.. idk how long poker will be the way it is now for (its not like its amazing either, but its beatable for a sick hrly, and i guess that's all that counts), so therefore i should probably focus on making money, until i have closer to 200k. Sux obv, since i'd rather just go and pursue whatever is on top of my list, the other problem that making money also lets me be in awesome places (i am tossing up Spain, Germany, Thailand, and Japan. obv being settled in europe is nice since, among many other awesome things, i can see my extended family (+dad), Thailand i'll get to see Joanna R for a month, and there are heaps of good 2p2ers there + its all infy cheep, Japan is somewhere i've been wanting to be more and more over the last 4 years, so much cool shit, was thinking about taking a Sakura House apartment (you don't need to be resident, just flash ur passport, and ship the gold) for a month or so, and messing around in Tokyo mainly - there are also a couple of cool 2p2ers there that i've been IMing.

So basically, i can either travel to heaps of awesome counrties, make money, and learn from a pretty wide range of ppl/experiences, obviously quite appealing, or i can lose a bit of money on survival, become more physically powerful, make friends with rats, and test my limits.

- looking at them, there really shouldn't be much of a choice. I hope i end up doing the latter, problem is, i have no idea how long i'd want to do it for, i'd probably feel like a failure if i just did 1-6months, but i guess i can start there and see where it goes.. life huh? not bad imo.

some less srs stuff:

went out with the brothers Chamber last night, pub crawled our way to the cas because i wanted to flip the house for a bunch of pennies, and crush their soul. lost a bit of money to some monkeys at 5/5, then dave backed out of the flip (i think it was only because he didn't really have much cash on him, and we'd both maxed our crappy cards), but he did recommend Red, since my usual goto girl wasn't around i accepted his advice, plonked down 1.7k, and won. I then asked the floor if it hurt that i just stuck it in him, he seemed like a normal guy, who found it funny, which wasn't expected (and kinda disappointing). Also on this night, Daz, Dave, and I had setup a table tennis game for the following day, my $400 vs their $200ea, in a game me v Dave, where he gets a warmup + practice match first (i still get 5min warmup).

I've recently gotten much better at TT, and was surprised that daz wanted some of Dave's action, since Daz had seen how much i'd improved.

Obviously having 4hrs sleep and waking up drunk with tense muscles isn't exactly ideal playing conditions, but we ambled over to TT after purchasing some hawt computer products (i bought a sexy wireless mouse, and a wireless numberpad), game was tight throughout, with me misclicking 3 serves, Dave definitely felt the pressure, and i was punishing him with some epic smashes whenever i felt i could exploit (probably getting 70%+ in).. i brainfarted a little at the end, and i think i came back from 17-20 to even the scores when Dave was on ubernit mode praying i'd make an unforced error - he offered me a tempting smash and i took it with full force :) lawl it went in, and hit him in the side, he recoiled+flailed with seemingly slow-motion anguish. i then won out the game 2points later :)

- sorry if the TT tr failed a lil, i just wanted to build up to that awesome smash with everything on the line, had to be there, i guess.

more change is around the corner again, and i'm finally getting excited.

peece

a quick fu

2009-04-08T04:14:00.000-07:00

to poker :(

- worst start to a month ever for me, got unstuck and up a lil from my first day (-4k over 3 sessions), just had my worse session ever (lost 5.5k in 80mins or so). kind of a shit game, when the monkeys whose opinions resemble bodily functions, can stack u a bunch of times, and feel great about themselves.

I mean this session was real shit.. I even flopped topset in a 3b pot and ended up getting shown a bluff after it did the opposite of bricking off (plo ldo). the F werst.

- bought 4 bags of weed the other day. Weed is ok, fun to play stoned also, you come up with cool lines.

- growing a beard for fun.

- Jogging daily.

- going to leave NZ sometime next month, get to Melb initially i guess, then i'll hopefully move to spain for a while (Uncle lives there, is cool). there are also some donkaments on in Melbourne from the 17th of May, so mebz run good in one of those also : |

- Shaun had a cool pic of Nix and I on his phone, tho i kinda feel pathetic posting pics of her a lot, so i present:

- I've been having dreams everynight (afai recall) for the last 2 weeks. cool ones too. I controlled one a couple nights ago and flew - i used to do that all the time, been a while.

kinda feel ok atm, gonna run to supermarket (got 15min left) get 12 beers, and drink away some sorrows, hopefully good start tomorrow (yeh, poker mainly annoying because i'm actually putting a lil effort in, but getting deestroid)

- yah, i'll keep a list of ppl in the works, post it soon, and update as is fit ldo. i am really unsure if i should be harsh in my profiling (obv i'd do myself for balancing) i think they'd be better to read, but i'd probably lose 3 more friends or something. sigh. ppl.

Edit:

Just back from supermarket, and feel really good. Kinda just happy with change around the corner, and pleased that even though i was annoyed, i didn't feel like a cigarette (realised this thought after [for authenticity] ldfo :)

I guess i should have a stop loss of like 4BI or whatever (session was 2/4 and 3/6 fwiw), since i enjoy losing 10BI less than the opposite etc.. but i just didn't feel my play was affected. it wasn't fwiw.

having some thoughts

2009-04-01T22:36:00.000-07:00

every time i hear anything jap (usually anime theme music), i feel really sad:

a) because i miss Nix

b) because i don't understand her culture

- Roo and I had a bit of a falling out (argueing about lifestyle/partner choices), and i've decided not to contact her for 6 months min, so i am without the 2 people in my life who are closest to understanding me atm..

On the plus side, it makes me want to search for people like me, so i'm thinking about trying to make 20kUS this month (stuck 4k first day in, fcking yay), and gtfo NZ and head back to europe probs..

- I'm also pretty tilty with stuff since i've quit cigarettes (yes that was a lil surprise of mine).

feel really torn these days, but i think it is just the gateway to a bit more character change.. feels like i'm too unstable to be in a relationship with anyone at present also.. dunno just kind of hating myself every 3rd minute.

Barcelona here we come?

fu.

March pokerwise:

2009-03-31T03:39:00.001-07:00

started well, but had a couple of gross sessions at the end, didn't steam fwiw, just got coolered/ginned and i'm always 200BB deep, so it doesn't take much to swong a few k..

- planning on making April a pretty big month, since i might relocate somewhere coool for a few months or whatever (really unsure about location.. posted something on 2p2, hopefully get a few ppl interested).

the 5/10 hh since u might have been wondering (actually a pretty interesting spot):

Dealt to HERO

RAISE HERO, to $30
RAISE 79ERS, to $90
CALL HERO, $60

CHECK 79ERS
CHECK HERO

BET 79ERS, $180
CALL HERO, $180

BET 79ERS, $540
CALL HERO, $540

SHOWS 79ERS

SHOWS HERO

HERO wins the pot of $1,619.25 with Three of a kind, tens

plo is fun :) took a drunken shot at 2k plo after having my 2nd ghey swong, decided i didn't mind losing a BI.

- it was really sick how soft the game was.. we were IP on the only good player sitting imo, it was 4 handed mainly with 2 red pros who were limpcalling and c/f'ing a bunch of flops.

I played good, but was drunk enough that i couldn't keep up with the animation speed, so i was unsure if i'd won or lost the 2 flips i played (won both :)

I mentioned I'd blog something about all of my subscribers, and I've decided to make a little guide of everyone i know with a pic (if poss) + a little background, so i guess i'll give my loyal followers a little more :)

WOMAD tr + wat i dewing

2009-03-18T00:20:00.000-07:00

made small edit

hey all. been a lil while in the making, but iz 'ere:

I was umming and ahhing about whether or not i should goto Womad this year, as Roo would be busy, i had just had a little downswong, and Nikki was leaving soon, but ended up rechanging my mind and booking a 5 day trip.

Had to leave for the airport at 3:45, so ended up doing an allnighter after watching a blue cock slap thigh for a few well spent hrs @ the cinema. got a couple hrs sleep on plane, but knew Roo would give me shit about being tired (or at least make it into an issue of sorts) - she was staying at my Mum's while in Melbourne to see a performance (the night before), bonus because i'd wanted to show her these funny old pix of us on my mum's wall. blahblahblah.

Roo made me some Museli+Fruit+Yoghurt after i gave her a big hug upon entry (kinda ninja'd my way in ftr [has qi], look on her face was awesome, since she was expecting me a couple hrs later than when i arrived). Brekkie was yums, and i'd dropped my diet with ex-neighbour Jo for the weekend, so i planned on Munching :)

- Jo's sister ended up costing them their awesome + free apartment, and costing Jo her car, so Jo opted to move asap (i entertained movign in with her for a while, but I found reasons against doing so reasonabley quickly). Our diet was $100 -> other person, for eating/drinking 1 item that was naughty, also $100 for every gym session u miss out of 5 per week. When i got back, i had it in my head that it was off, drunk 3 beers while she was hanging around, paid $300, then dropped the diet permanently : |

We headed to town to shop for random clothes + maybe some rollerblades, ended up in T-Bar (Melbourne Central), where I had pointed out a woman of my "taste" to the gaiz when we were in Melbourne last, and Dave jumped on the bandwagon. fwiw dave, she wasn't working when i went in this time, bitchin, ey? Got some cool shurts (they don't anymore, ducy nix?), ended up getting tired after late lunch + beer, and headed back home for a nap.

Roo's Friend Jenny, was also staying @ my Mum's place (they'd flown up together ldo). Jenny was this girl (may have mentioned back in Lucy saga), that interrupted a drunken Kaki arguement with an attempt at contradiction that failed, iirc :P Anyway, she's one of Roo's better friends, so I wanted to apologise + get along, that went ok. don't really like her though, just really abc my generation - activist devision. cool pic tho, imo.

- we ended up lazing aroudn instead of going out that night, i was bordering on illness, so that was ok with me, plus I miss just hanging with Roo, talking about garbage. Back to adelaide, zoomzoomzoom.

I stayed with Tim and Zarinah, which was an easy nostalgia win, mum was also in town with sis for Womad, they stayed with Anna in cbd. Are my blogs too boring now? more hate needed? wtf it dew subscribers, i feel like i'm giving nothing interesting (buttsecks later ldo). Had a family dinner (restraunt was super average), then headed out to womad - this is sat night btw.. met up with Roo's bf, Finn, exchanged some words, got some reads, then attempted to squeeze through fence under bridge (couldn't buy tickets [shut], nor would security let me in with only 30mins to go [they totally would have 5yrs ago Fck commercialisation]), but am too much of a fatass, and ended up cutting my hand (yay!).

Old pic of Adelaide, i remember from my childhood. I can still spot my house :)

Rousche had a soccer game following morning, but had only slept for an hour - plans for us to hang had been kinda soiled the whole time for various reasons, and it was looking kinda grim still, she played a pretty good game, but they couldn't put a goal through, so they tied, and went to shootout (only for the breakers fwiw), Roushan, was the only player to miss a goal out of the 10 shots taken. I felt terrible for her.. wanted to shout out some encouragement pre, but the possibility of distracting her was too great imo.

- Headed to womad after the game, had nfi what we were to do though, since they were apparently sold out of tickets, and the only avaliable one's remaining were the night passes (6pm+), so i opted to target a sales chick who i figured would assume i was a bit out of their league, and be super nice/goofy - went for "lost my weekend pass, but don't mind buying another ticket, just care about going to Womad"/similar, she bought it more than expected, and just shipped me a free weekend pass. as Daz would say; Saahennnda.

Edit: ftm i hung out with my other ex, Ella. was really good to chat to her about old shit, and what we're both planning/doing these days. It's such a brag to have ex partners in your life imo.

- weird thing with her and Roo tho (they don't wanna see each other), hopefully i'll get a group pic one day :)

- just chatted to her on landlines for 1.5-2hrs, about crap. She's changed a fair bit (obviously ppl tend to over 6 years), but i still have moments where i remember things (lol @ mem) about our past. She reminded me of this time I asked her not to look at Matt Broniecki (for lawls) the whole day, and she went about serving him food+drinks, and giving him other forms of attention, while maintaining no eye contact, he eventually erupted asking her why!!? she told him i'd asked her to do so, he replaied along the lines of "no he didn't", then i came out, told him i actually did.. he responded "knew it". ffs, what a turd. its nice to be reminded of the past though - her memory is realy good too :) /Edit:

Got a short vid of one of the performances i liked "Black Jesus something", i've found the best acts are usually the last one playing near the Frome Rd entrance/exit on Sunday night, whatever it was, was sick.

- No Hungarian Garlic Bread this year. Wtf. I was pretty tilty, but then i ran into a Turkish gozleme store, ordered in turkish when i reached the front of the 20min queue, was given discount, and instant access to front of line whenever wanted. I guess i run ok, tbh i feel like i just play well tho.

- Roo (and I) felt we hadn't really had enough time together over this trip, and she wanted me to change my flight to a later Monday one, so i could watch her play the finals of that soccer donkament. I wanted to, but opted against, since i had to get shit from my mum's place before heading to the International terminal. Apparently she won the game 1-0 with a midair hackey sack move. FML, wish i was there for it, she sounded so extatic, I have cool visuals of it tho - reminds me of a near miss in one of her games where she decided on a flying knee shot at goal off a cross, and it powered into the top beam. I really like watching women play sport (if you have a connection with them anyway, i guess)

back to Auckland :) Nix had setup something i'd been requesting for a while; an activity with me, her, and her sister (Aki). Her sister is 20 yo, and has downsyndrome, so besides being a sibling of Nikki (who i'd obv want to meet), she's also a window into what my life may have been like if my brother didn't die after birth (he had downsyndrome also, ldo) + she hates violence, apparently ;)

- We ate lunch, and she put the entire serving of wasabi for 6 large pieces of sushi onto 1, and devoured it. lol. I don't know if she liked me, or if my presence (as an unknown) made her uncomfortable, but I'd like to spend more time with her, and hopefully i could better understand the complexities of people with such a different perspective.

- She asked me where i was from at one point, and I gave her a clue in "it's better than New Zealand", she pretty much snapcalled with Australia high, which i thought was Vcool/interesting (umoshiroi?).

After bumping into Tocky in an icecream store on Queen St - totally fine btw, he seems pretty chilled (he's prob a bit depressed about Nix going like me etc..), we headed up to Aotea square, where gypsy music drew us into the tent thingy (tho Aki did need a little convincing), really cool performance imo, reminded me of Turkey, and the vibe in the room was great + it was fun dancing with Nix and Aki - tbh it was also just really pleasant watching Nikki be a good sister, makes me visualise her as a mother, and as many of u likely know, pregnant women are a seek turn on (merging visuals ldo, seems fine tho).

Had tea with my two fave auckland girls one night (Jo, being the other, ftr - dw Anna, u don't count since ur a Sydney gurl nao), and semi-guided Nix through the basics of chess. Just a funny series of photos, and a pretty pleasant mem.

RUjelly? my new dell laptop arrived recently featuring $200 24"' monitor (not a quality brag, obv), so sexy having a good setup.. + now i can travel and play with ease (is that what laptops do daddy?)

LUL: obviously you worked out that i must have taken this pic at a live donkament, here is the short TR:

$1100 buyin 10k stacks 25/50 first lvl (60min lvls)

*open 7h7d utg+1 to 125 (2 mins in), and call a 3b of 425tot from MP2

9d4x2d, i c/c 600, planning on c/f trns

30, check, check - so he has AK/AQ most likely, ldo

5o river, i check since i can't bet him off a wheel, he bets 800, and i opt to c/r to 5250 total, since ppl hate losing their stacks early. at first i was considering a smaller size, then a shove.. i think my compromise was effectively a shove (which is obviously ideal), and he tank folds.

*i decide to overflat AdKc from BB vs same villain from hand #1's utg open, since i don't think he'll want to fold pre, then he'll likely 'put me on AK', so i plan on c/r some flops instead.

7c5c2o, check, cbet 350 (pottish), tank call from random limpcally fish, i make it 1075, pfr folds, fish calls after 30-40secs.

2x trn, i fake Vbet 1550, planning on overbet shipping a bunch of rivers, he calls.

To river, i send it fast, and he snapfolds obv.

[x] sick valuebet etc..

but i still prefer it.

*4 limps on my BB at 100/200, i make it 1200ish with Q6o andc take it down, after btn tank folds AJs faceup, lul.

Very next hand: HJ limps for 200, and CO (same guy who folded AJs), ISOs to 450, i decide to go for 2 in a row, and 3b to 1500 with 92o from SB, he tanks for 2min and flats. ups.

A42r, i ship the 5800 he has behind, and i really don't think there is a better option - especially since this player could definitely folds AQ/AJ on this flop to this action, alas, he moans, and "calls for a chop" with AKs, and i brick.

- so we had about 16k from good steal, now we're hovering around starting stack, we steal good for a few hrs, and win a couple of flips - T3s > 88, and QQ > 99, then we look like this:

we coast to 400/800/100 with 42k, and this hand comes up with silly asian lag, who i know is making a play at me 100% to set image etc.. (he's been 3b weakish players 4x/5x, making alot of flop raises, the only hand he showed down was a weakish TP he PC'd - and 'No', he isn't as good as the description sounds - just view him as a blufffish.

AKo i open to 1850 from utg, he flats CO, all other fold. (he covers btw)

662r, i have heaps of options here, but i don't want to b3bship, because then my cbet will be too large (so his raise % with air will be harder to assume imo, i.e. we get it in worse etc.. he bluffs less), i don't want to c/c all streets, since he might just go vbet 55 3 times.

I decide to cbet 1200, to induce bluffraises, or floats, then c/c trn and riv etc..

he makes it 5k tot pretty fast, i tank a lil, and decide to 3b flop to 14k, and c/f trn if he flats, call if he shoves.

he snap shoves, so i call fast.

he rolls over A2o FFS WTF, anyway 5outs twice seems fine for some justice, but he binks a 2 on the trn to kill the sweat, and i lose the CL pot with under 40 people remaining. failing to cash fwiw.

solution to lifetilt :) also ate indian the following day, and drunk 18beers. ez game.

The Nikki chapter:

How to start.. well i fell in love with Nix at some point on our rollercoaster - mainly how she prioritised me/us, and how i viewed our situation, since we are both people who see a lot of angles and have the balls to play them (sorry Knish), we swong mentally - really cool at times, since we can also be such good friends regardless of how the topic we are ranting about affects the other. objective minds ftw. ffs i have so much to say about her, but i just decided i'm not going to get into it.

- we had dinner (vegetarian deagustation actually, tho i replaced my main with epic duck.dish) at the French Cafe on Symonds St, it was a really cool evening, capped off with chats to Tocky while Nikki fake stumbled around her hallway farting constantly :)

She's so purdy.

- I feel like there is all this pressure to make every second memorable etc.. creating tensions, when all i rly wanna do is laze around with her watching whadevadafuk and talking about it/anything (except our situation). Luckily we bounce into that realm enough to keep me distraught, no more however, she leaves for Japan tomorrow, and I will not see her again for what look like 6months+

- this makes me sad.

She came round to my place bearing musical gifts 2 days ago, i filtered for some goodness, but just added them to my itunes, and didn't copy the fcking files, argh.

- I guess the specifics of our relationship, our problems, and our wins don't really matter too much in an open forum.. I'd like to discuss them, but i feel emotionally biased towards whatever my current mood, and it's not like i get useful feedback anyway ; |

- bottom lines, however, i can discuss, and mine definitely shifted a lot over the last few months. Now I have decided that I won't be with her while she still has romantic interest in Tocky, the problem is what do we do with the rest of our relationship? it's too easy for her if she gets my friendship/attentions, while still 'with him', and also too hard for me, but I really love having her in my life to talk stuff with, + she has a decent understanding of me now, and i don't want to lose someone i feel so close to.

The other side of this i guess, is whether or not us maintaining a relationship will effect her goals in Japan.. we discussed being monogamous for a while, but the 'idea' is too restrictive imo, though that discussion did steer me away from wanting to live in thailand for a bunch of months, which i figure i might as well now reconsider.

- We'd been throwing around globabl travel after her contract finished, and i'd been getting kinda excited at points, she kept saying she couldn't promise anything, but i know we were both there for a lot of the visuals.. I recently found out that it was because she was in the same situation with Tocky.. I never felt like she hid things from me, but after finding that out (from him), i couldn't help feel let down - i hate seeing her try to justify it with weak excuses also, because i know she just feels she's trapped herself, but is often angry enough, probably at herself, that if i mention my dissapointment, she'd probably just be pissed with me. /life.

- Now however, these things aren't much of a concern. I've set myself a few goals, and i plan on acheiving them. Tho i did call her today while jogging in the vicinity of her place, since we never finished a game of othello we started a while ago... I'll probably just have to stop missing her, but how unfuckingideal is planning on getting over aspects of a situation involving someone you love in that way.

- Anyway, walking her back to her house, then we had goodbais.. watching her walking away, made me think about how huge the world is. I'm the kind of person that can take what they want from certain situations/points of view, but this will always make me feel hollow (I wonder if that will change if/when i have kids).

this reminds me of some iPhone notes i took in Melbourne:

Left feeling hollow - standard thoughts about bonds between ppl, and why they are formed + what's expected, and general insignificance/smallness

I stare blankly at all of these foreign objects/people/situations that i should find interesting, but without all of her I feel drained. Maybe i should leave her.

I think i am a cool ememy, and my friends/partners are always rooting against me, especially shorthanded.

People try to use personal touches to convince themselves of individuality. This is the norm now, i guess.

I see people so clearrly, and because they spend their lives convincing themselves of their characteristics, I think I understand them better than they do.

Nix and I had playfought a couple times (i wish we did some srs training often tho), in prep for her upcoming open fight (usually viewing is for women only).. the first day she came over we sparred a lil

- she won her fight, i could tell how exhausted she was, but she didn't give up. This is part of her I really love - e.g. my friends probably would assume Nikki would have lost to the most competant of opponents at the gym, but i believe she has the will to overcome physical pain, and summon whatever strength is required. Just before her match started, she called me and dropped the "i feel like a kid at their little league game, and my daddy isn't here", as we were running late.. really cool line.. made me realise that she really cared about my support, and i hope that I gave her some strength.

- I'll just update end of April with some results (re: my plans/goals), really undecided on where to go live after NZ, or whether i should stay here for a bit..

- Poker was average this month, didn't put in many hands, and just had a -3k session so kinda cap off the month, so outside of the next couple of days of play, March = ~ 4.5k

shaved my head btw. standard gogogadget life.

ttys :)

NgyuenNguyen?

2009-02-24T20:03:00.000-08:00

whoever signs up to follow my blog before the end of March will have a paragraph written about them. may be about how we met/know each other, my thoughts on them, there influence on me, or all of the above.

- bit bored atm, trying to move up to 400nl.. I've moved a bit of money off FTP onto Absolute (its amazing), here is garf.

first try fail (super std). I'ma make it stick though, the regs are so average, i get away with floating like every Qhi dry+ board, and the fish are lolbad..just coolered a bunch etc..

they are all 200BB deep tables btw, 40BB min, pretty nice.

ttys

- edit: plz watch this. Amazing imo, paid a busto in BBV $20 to find out who she was (Emily Wells btw)

Last few Weeks

2009-02-13T00:49:00.000-08:00

Pics and Cliffs imo (chronological order)
we got dressed up, and went out for some

silent orchestra (for those of us who play Buzz)

and Drinks.

- My Dad was arriving around 1am that night, so we ended the evening a little early, and i made some introductions (inc. my friends to turkish delight, i was surprised by how into it they all were). He was staying for just under 1 week - was in Oceania for a conference i think, so I told him he should come down for a bit.

We took a day trip to Waiheke, and toured some winerys

We didn't have time to finish this game, but he'd already donked off a Bishop :)

sick views ldo

Played some table tennis @ Gillies Ave, had a bunch of good doubles games

View from our lodge at Tutukaka (30km from Whangeri), really cool place, would love to go back with friends some time - best rooms (2 double bed + 2 singles) with ocean view were only $245/night, and the place had a private beach, swimming pool, tennis court, and games room (table tennis and 8ball). sik lyf.

- A couple of days after we arrived back in Auckland, Nikki's band was playing at a cozy venue on K road. I'd been organising all of us to go, but after she suggested it would be a bad idea for me to come (to avoid Tocky's discomfort), everyone ended up bailing, which pissed me off a bit, since they'd have enjoyed selves + the music, and the 8-10 of us would have doubled their crowd. Apparently Nikki didn't perform that well though, so i guess it was good&bad.
Dave and my dad attempted to watch the performance but missed by a measely couple of hrs. The + about having Dave go is that his perception of stuffs is closest to mine (out of my Ackl friends), and he also finds Nikki Vattractive (annoying occasionally [jokes etc..], but good in this spot), so i have clear pictures of what went on, what was cool, and whether or not i'd have jizzed myself.
omg edited to add /\/\

Lantern Festival. Jo, Armie, and I all bought hats and flashing glasses, ate a bunch of food, and had allaround GTs. For some reason Dave, Shaun, and Mike (German 2p2er, who was at ours that day to rail a session, + drink and swim) left early, and Daz+Sandra formed a subgroup, so it was just the 3 of us. Tho we did run into James and Anna - who've recently moved to Sydney (gone for 3month min), hope to travel with them sometime.

!! now when you walk into Saika on Wellesley St, you'll see 0 photos of me and Darryn up on the wall!

- Epic fail, you see those shot glasses next to the bowls? they're normal glasses, and the rice was like 8-10cm high. For those who don't know, Saika (Jap restaurant) runs a challenge, where you buy 2kg of curry+rice for $20, and if you can finish it in under 15mins, you get your pennies back, and ur pic on the wall. Tocky had done it in 13min 59sec, and i figured i'd crush the games :(
We arrived just as they were closing up, and offered a $50 tip for them to make it for us, they didn't really budge, but then i raized to $100 and got snapcalled, thought the chef said dw about the money, and Daz was like 'pay the man' (fu). I felt so gross when they plonked the plates down, then half the meal was realising how futile trying to finish was + repetitive taste.
Pretty sick feat to be able to finish it imo, props to Tocky (and the chick who did it in 7min, wtf).

Nix and I were walking around town, when we spotted a crowd @ the corner of Queen st and Vulcan lane, naturally i responded to her desire to see waddup, by suggesting we suss prior (owned, imo) - though this was one of the occasiona i actually was interested :P
Weird foreign chick playing speed chess for rolls (raising gold to see her mother in Africa), crowd was standing around as she was packing up from a previous game, I walk up and she offers the first of what is to be too many handshakes, i ask what the stakes are, she says its free (so it was just donations, would have been cool to 4 table people on the street for all of their gold tho [if u were her]), she was supposedly a chess champion in high school.

- it was 3min, and check doesn't have to be announced.

- I opened terribly and cost myself a 50second gap to recover (fwiw, i've never played speed chess), but then i got a reasonable board set up, and pinned her Queen for the overtake (i announced check though, like a fish), then i made a +ev trade (my Q for a rook), since i was time concerned. ended up my Rook + King + Pwn, vs her King, 1min for her, 22secs for me : |. I won the race when she backed into my Rook line, and i got to snap her off instead.

Ran pretty good imo. Felt nice.

Norweigen 2p2er and I shot took at 1kplo on Valentine's day (true love ldo), and won 2.8kish, went out for drinks with a few others, ended up playing banknote for $100/man and chopping drunken Tom's money, got wasted on these weird shots that are delivered in tea cups at Cassette, then spa'd to get into the right state of mind, before taking a shot at 2kplo half stacking, we won 2/11 flips total for the day (both were at 5/10 obv), we lost 3k there :(

- Pretty likely I'll be moving to Thailand in May, and I'm hoping Japan after that, but that will depend on what happens with Nikki and I guess, though i'll hopefully travel through Jap regardless.

- Ended up deciding not to go to Womad this yr, as Roo won't even be there for the whole weekend, and is busy with uni and work apu... hopefully she'll come down here at some point/we'll end up living in the same city, sux not having her around :(
gonna go call her now actually

keep in mind this was cliffs. fwiw.

hopefully going to get something like this soon (1920 x 1200 res crucial)

AU wrap up

2009-01-28T05:29:00.000-08:00

pics with cliffs imo:this is what i paid for my AM ME entry with, kinda balla.

OMG i got to rail PA irl :)
saw annette too, but she doesn't photo as well, ldo (though i think she's cute)

Sister has first tequila shot

Parents and I @ dinner

Cankles of sister's fat, unappreciative, turdlet friend. We had tortias one night, and she grabs the bowl of fried chicken morsels and crams as many as possible onto one, then responds to "you won't even be able to roll that up", with; "I'll find a way"

diagf fatty

Melbourne markets. Got a bunch of shopping done, was quite happy about it :)

Cool little girl we looked after for an evening (child of family friend). Her name is Inness, she's shy, but wanted to learn how to solve my rubik's cube. Children can be so awesome.
Daz receiving all of someone's gold, on his way to placing 3rd in a 1k event at Skycity Auckland for 14k. Was good to sweat him for a bunch of hrs. Wp sir.

- I have a bunch of stuff to blog about, but will refrain for a while - my dad is in Auckland atm, so i'll probably update again in a few days, when he leaves. Will probably set some acheivable poker goals for the remainder of the month too. Also; my neighbour Jo is hilarious, and fun to chat to about whatever. Hopefully hang with her a bit more.

[?] great use of 11hrs

2009-01-23T04:44:00.000-08:00

the following are my iPhone notes:

ftr tournament is 10k stacks 25/50, 1hr levels..

HJ opens 125 i flat 56s on btn, BB calls

6d3d2x, check, 300, call, call

7o turn, all check

8o river, check, 250, i make it 1550 total after a few seconds

He ends up folding 86o faceup, after asking if i'll show if he folds. lol.

Co limps, SB completes, i check 67s

QdJd4x, checked through

5o turn, check, check, 200, fold, i c/r to 700 tot, he calls fast

I decide to bluff his draws that beat me with 625, he calls with 95s :(

I open 7d8d utg, 3 flats

I opt not to cbet a AdKxTd, utg+1 bets 300, 2 folds, i flat.

7o turn, i check and may be c/r, but opt to just call, and bet 7s and diamonds, since i think he has the nuts alot.

Kd river, i lead 1925, he calls and tables QJs after hating life a bit.

its now 75/150 and i've just been cbetting and squeezing a bit, with lots of success.

I'm at about 19k now, table is really faceup.

I defend AhJc vs CO open

7s6s2c, check, check

8c turn, i lead 725, he flats

Qs river, i c/c his snapbet of 1500 after a little thought. I'm good, and get to show off to "imalucksack" (2p2er) who recently moved to my immediate right

very next hand i open Kc9c to 375 from btn, and sb 3bs to 875 with 9k behind

I flat, and check back a Qs8x8y flop

turn is the Js, I bet 700 after a 2nd check, planning on 2barrelling him off AK

5s river, I decide to fake Vbet 1225 (as he could have AsKs), and it works.

Defend red TT vs steamy utg open of 700 @ 100/200 where sb is dead.

I crai on AhJhTx, and he folds an Ace faceup :(

i open JsJh to 500 with 27k, bb who covers, calls and donks 500 on a AsQs4s, i peel

Jc turn, i flat 1500

he c/f for 3325 on a 70 river

34850 going into break 2, antes coming up :)

HJ opens to 700 at 100/200/25, I flat 78s as his abnormal sizing (consistancy wise) indicates a vulnerable hand imo

Qx7y4c, 2 checks

2o trn, he bets 1500, I call for a couple of reasons, tho he has 88-JJ a fair bit imo

Jo river, he checks, and i decide to put him allin for 9k, cause he isn't good enough to call. He folds.

Opened 5x3d to 750 from btn (150/300/50), was flatted by decent scandi in the B

Td5d2h, he c/r my 1125 to to 3200, I flat

8d trn, and we both check.

he Vbets 4800 on a Jo river, and I called after 2minsish, as we'd been discussing levelling earlier and i felt my med pair, and his 'Vbet' were both so faceup. He had 22, which is kinda ghey.

I've cold 4b twice today, both were a

First one, weirdo folds JJ faceup, 2nd, newly moved scandi (different one) 3b a btn open, and tank mucked air which i'm sure he was pretty close to shoving.

Had Q3o and J4s respectively.

Moved to a new table during 200/400/50, imalucksack is 2 to my left (which is fine because he doesn't really get out of line), there's an aggro kid opposite me.

I 3b him after an orbit with air, but old nit wakes up in BB and cold 4bs.. :(

I ISO an utg limp with 66 to 1425, and kid 3bs to 5500, which kinda seems like AK wcs, so i laughed and shoved, he snapped AQs, adn i won one. yay.

I open KTo to 1450 (300/600/75 now), and get shoved on by onld nit for 1900 more, and i get there V his QQ (in the cool way where his rivered set completes my gs).

Nexthand i open black AA utg, bb flats, and dark checks with a 30k stack, I cover.

QJ8r, i decide to check back

he leads 1500 on a 6s turn, i flat

3s completes bdfd, so i only bet 2650, when checked to, and he snaps worse.

I've let random euro 3b with about 20k 3b my btn open from oop before, same spot occurrs again, except this time i have a King and a Jack of the same suit!!, i flat planing on raising non Ahi boards.

9d4d2s i have bdfd, and raise his 4600 to 11k, trying to rep TT+.

It works.

Have 62275 going into 400/800/100 at 4th break.

Indian lagtard get moved to my table after the euro loses QJ v ATs AIpre. He 3bs my 2k open to 8k (sliding out a pile of 1ks), on his 1st hand. I drop my air. He now has about 40k.

Next orbit, btn limps, I ISO from sb to 3100, Indain guy grabs a stack of ten 1ks, and slides them in. I consider shoving K4o for a hwile, but think better of it. lawl regrets.

He flats my K8s open, so does bb.

A53r, I cbet 3100, Indian flats, bb folds

8o trn, check, check (i was going to c/c fwiw)

4o river, i c/f after he slides in another ten 1ks..

He then makes it 1500 utg, and is forced to minraise (i'm not putting him on an angle, he'd been opening smaller with the weaker part of his range from what i'd seen so far), btn flats, and i defend T6s.

Q85r, i c/r his 2600 cbet to 6200, and he makes it a bunch of 1ks more (turns out to be 6k)

I decided he isn't doing it with just TP, and i'd already eliminated QQ+, so i decided to make it 26000ish total, and he snapshoves 85s.

cry. I'm now at around 20k.

2 hands later i open black 88 from btn to 1900, he 3bs to five 1k chips, and i stick it in.

Obviously he has black AA, and it holds.

Wp sir, gg 11 hours + my hopes of recovering something from this trip...

I feel like i played a great tournament overall though, i mae a bunch of good steals an resteals, + ajuste well to everyone except the Inian guy maybe... fol T6s pre imo, i just really wante to c/r him off his air. I suck.

- on the + side tho.. my iphone is now unlocked, i just ate watermelon, and i'm going shopping tomorrow. was going to go out with a bunch of poker people tonight, but am not really in the mood for that crap.

- also pokernews sucks ass.

another disappointing day

2009-01-21T23:24:00.000-08:00

played the $1.1K mixed holdem today..

5k stacks 50/100 limit 1st level, then 25/25 nlh, then 100/200 lim, 25/50 nlh, etc..

was immediate right of fishy live reg who i'd been polite to at Auckland APPT, i finally open a pot at 25/25nl to 75, he flats btn, bb also calls, we have ATo

Jh4x5y, i cbet 175, he raises to 375 (i know he's kinda doing this for info at least 80%) . I 3b to 1k tot, and he calls pretty fast.

Th trn, i c/f when he bets 1200, since i figured if he had a oesd/gs+fd he'd bet bigger.

he shows 34o, wp genius.

I then 3b a loose opener who seemed decentish 40mins later @ 25/50 nl from 175 to 525, he flats, and crai over my 475 cbet on Q62ss. I snapfolded A4s - ftr XYZss, means XYZ single suit.

next orbit I 3b SQ a loose MP open + flat to 575 with Q8s, loose guy calls and says "I'll give you a bad beat", other folds.

- ftr, i was so tilted by all of the table talk (one guy kept berating others for their open sizes, and showing all of his hands, same guy as MP opener fwiw).

Jx9h7y, he checks, i fig that hit his range, and don't want to get crai, so i check back planning on shipping some turns.

Jh on the turn, he leads 725, i shove fast, he tanks a few seconds, and calls with Jd5d.

3h on the river, lol@u.

I was moved 10 or so mins later, folded a bit, then MP1 opened, 3 ppl flatted, i have 44 in SB, and flat also.

Tc 4c 2c, i check, MP1 cbets, 1 call, I crai, MP1 calls with QcQx and makes a flush which holds.

sigh.

i have 1300 left, 2 limps on my BB at 200/400 limit, i check 64o, then c/f to a bet, and flat on Q72r.

next hand i have AhTh in SB 2 limps, someone ISOs, i just flat to get the most chips in pot, BB flats also, 5 ways.

Kx8h4h, i donk, BB folds, flat, flat, raise, i flat, so do others.

9y turn, i donk shove, 2 folds (lol, wtf?), flop raiser calls KTo, and it bricks.

- playing the 2.2k 6m tomorrow, i think that might be the last one i play, hating live poker atm, and a bit depressed about my results. Plus a day of shopping and hanging with fam seems crucial.

- looking forward to being back in NZ, despite how sick Melbourne is. miss u gaiz.

recent pedo bear siting

day 2..

2009-01-21T02:00:00.000-08:00

But frist... saw PA, Jesus, Scotty Ngyuen (what a douche), Annette, Durrrr, Good2cu, + a bunch of others.

Also, FU PokerNews, pofs website gave me like 0 coverage, here's a pic of my from round 1 that they titled "Turker going out"

I won that round 2-0.

opponent was Russian guy called Sergei something, friends with Ivan Demidov (2009 WSOP ME runnerup), and that Kostritsen guy (winner of the 08 AM ME), both of whom railed him for a while + a couple of big titted blonde russian girls.

Round 1 (3k stacks 25/50, 20min levels)

Game 1:

i was reacting to his next moves well, after letting him 3b me twice early.

he was looking up all Ahi and some Khi's in limped pots, which prompted him to paying off my 3 barrel with an 8/Q on Q87r5o7x, i had 64s ftw.

I'd been punishing his limps pretty lite, he finally called one pre, and i decided to pretend i had showdown value by checking my 94o on K62r, he checked back

i bet 325 into 450 on a To trn, he flatted

i shoved a Qo river pretty fast, and he folded just as quick (he had 1600 left)

he then limp shoved 88 a few hands later, and i semi snapped KQs for 1400

i won the flip.

Game 2:

he limped, i check A7o, 762r

i c/r his 75 bet to 225, he flatted

i bet 475 on a To trn, he called

river was a 7, and i bet 1050, he called fast, and broke out some Russian complaints to the gf.

traded blinds for a bit, then i defended QJs to his open of 250 (50/100 now)

AdQd4x, check, check

6d turn, i c/c his 350 planning on c/f rivs (everyone checks back AX these days), and donkshoving my 5outs + diamonds. he has 1300ish behind.

Jo riv, i shove he snaps, then angry mucks into the dealer, doesn't offer handshake. lawl.

Round 2 (5k stacks, 50/100, still 20min levels)

Game 1:

game started him kinda nitty iirc, i was opening and punishing infy, opponent seemed much better than round 1 guy (Kent something, ftr)

First interesting hand was his flat of my QQ open, then he c/c an 862r

and c/r a Jo trn minnish, i moan shoved, and he dumped it. he had about 1/7th of pot left (as i'd been running him over early)

a few hands passed (he won all) then we then got my QTo AI vs his K8o, and he won. it was in a coolish way tho, i minraised (adjusting to his shorter stack) and he 3b (i realised as soon as i opened that he'd 3b assuming my minraise was weak) he had it 600 tot, i snapjammed to cover for my mistake/for value, but we both realised he as pretty committed (stated hand with 1900ish)

ran him over for a bit again, then my A8o got AI v his JTs, he won again :(

so he had about 4k when i 3b his 250 open to 725 with Jh8d,

Th7h3x, i checked, he bet 1k, then i crai after umming and ahhing (repped 88/99 well, imo), he tank mucked.

we traded blinds a bit more (i was doing better than him), then he limped QJo with 1400ish at 75/150, i jammed K5o, and he called fastish.

i held on an exciting board fwiw.

Game 2:

i ran him over a little apu (i'm just expecting his next actions, and making my own dark ones to counter them - i.e. opening when i think he'll play fit/fold, and 3b when i'm expecting an open, hand strength only comes into play to counter my strats, unless they coincided)

i limped J8o at 50/100, and bet 125 on an 862r, he c/c which was weird because he'd been c/r almost every flop, and i'd been 3b bluffing them back a decent amount.

3o trn, he c/c 375, so now i know he doesn't have air.

To river, he checks, and i decided he has to have sdv, and he knows i know that, so i bet 1500 (overpot) to polarise me.

he tanks a bit and shoves for 2200ish more, i was initially going to snapfold (i was polarised afterall), but i levelled myself into calling, mainly because i didn't think he'd ship T6 100%, and i figured he'd c/r 79.

I called because i wanted to respect myself in the morning. he had 79o :(

i then got T7s AI v his J7o for like 4BB on my end, he held.

Game 3:

I took the lead early checked back A2o, and c/c his 100 bet on Ac3c3x, i tried repping Khi with a touch of body language fyi.

he barreled a 2o trn, and i c/c fastish, planning on fake blocking rivers to induce.

Ao river was weird for that, but i still donked 200, he semisnap raised to 2200, and i thought about shoving, but just flatted, as there really is no value. he had 95o.

I 3b shipped over his open with A7o, soon after, and he called A3o after some thought, we chopped.

he gained some chips back, then defended my AQo open, and c/r a JJ7r flop

i 3b shoved, and he timed down a bit before folding.

he was pretty short after that, and we were playing shove/fold

he called my T3s shove, and i finally won a flip v his KJs

yay :)

Round 3 (10k stacks 100/200, 20min)

Game 1:

I'd railed the match Martin Klassr v Jason Grey, I'd be playing winner.

Klasser was actually really faceup, and a bit of a payoff wizard in lolbad spots, Jason couldn't really fold pre, and would make large c/r bluffs on flops with air, then give up future streets (twice, anyway), he also donked a bit. I'd rather play Klasser was my thought, they were 1-1 when Klasser had the chiplead in the final game, he limped K5s, and Jason checked K8o, a KK48r board was good enough to get the gold in on, and Jason sealed it with A8s v T8o shortly after.

I started well, 3b him twice, and him folding to smallish cbets, he then flatted pre (apfu) v my 5s5x, and c/r my 625 cbet on Ks3s2s to 2225, i flirted with the idea of 3b'ing flop, but opted not to due to what i'd seen of his game.

Ts trn, he checked, and i decided not to turn my hand into a bluff.

Xy river, chk, chk, he tables 8c6s ftw, wfp surrr.

Now we're evenish in chips, and he defends my AA open with 53s and donks 1100 into 1k on K53ss (he'd previously donked 1500 into 1k after flatting pre OOP on As6s2x, i folded 67o), so i figure he's expecting to get raised sometime, i oblige to the tune of 2600tot, he snap jams, i snapcall.

he holds.

ugh : |

Game 2:

Match starts with him donking 1500 in 1k again (annoooooying) on A52r, honestly WTF is he repping, i say "52s, right.." and raise to 3500 tot (with K3o), he snapjams. omg, plz kill urself/play me for my roll.

he flats my AsKx open and c/c's my cbet on KsQs4x, but then he donks a Ts trn about 1/3 pot. I flat.

6s river, and he c/fs.

He then flats my 67o open, and checks a 873r, which i check back,

8s on trn, bringing a fd, he c/c's 625

9x river, and i decide to snapbet 2k after he checks, he calls really fast, then feels so owned when he has to muck. (can't believe i left this hand out initially, kinda crucial to help him fold 1pr later)

i decide he's expecting a 3b from me (and he flats them all), so i flat 97s, and plan on c/r a bunch of flops.

Kc6c4s, chk, chk

As trn, i chk (undecided as to whether or not I'll c/r smallish and ship rivers i miss, Vbet ones i hit), but he chks back. Now i know he has sdv.

I bet 425 into 1250 on a 9o river, and he raises to 1500 after a couple of seconds

I realise he was checking the A for deception, and decide to shove, knowing he knows that this is my last 'life' in this donkament, and that his hand is faceup.

unfortunately for me he was super level 1, and called after about a min because he had a Queen Fucking Kicker. FU. he probably figured if he was wrong there's always game 3... i wish he'd arrived at the next level, and realised that i'm less likely to be bluffing because of that, anywayz... :(

- if i win that round i top8.

1st = 100k + a cool ring!!!1

2nd = 60k

3rd/4th = 40k

5-8th = 20k

- Kinda sad...sucks that the only donkaments left are 2k or below, so i won't have any huge scores to report...still having a good time i guess, chatting to some pretyt decent poker people, and about to go for a bit of a shop around Melbs. Bought + unlocked my new Iphone today, hopefully will be scrolling through threaded messages within 72hrs.

- also practiced my Jap with well known High Stakes fish; Masaki Kagawa, who will be playing the $1,000,000 Min Buyin 2k/4k cash game this year (i assume), he seemed nice, but i'd heard he was a douche. he was also in the HU, think he busto'd, but he made some hilarious hero-calls.

My AM ME

2009-01-20T03:09:00.000-08:00

nitted it up for a bit, then finally entered a pot squeezing a loose opener and 2 ppl who flatted, from SB. nearing end of first level

eff stacks 18k, utg+1 limps for 100 gets ISO'd by bad lag, flatted twice from behind, i 3b to 1750 with Qd2d, limper folds, pfr folds, 2 flatters call.

I cbet 3200 on 2s3c6s, 1 fold, 1 call, i then go into c/f mode on the 5s trn, as my bets would seem so weighted towards air since a fish couldn't comprehend a Vbet from AA there, he checks back, and i c/f a 7c river.

lose a couple more pots and i'm sitting at around 13k, we goto first break.

My table breaks, and I'm moved to Nam Le's table (he's 3 to my left), i nit it up for 2 orbits, then 3b his utg open from 500 (at 100/200) to 1525 with 9h3s - i figured he'd be opening larger for value, since the std open raiz a the table was 3.5-4X, anyway he flats after some thought, and c/fs red QQ faceup on Ks9s6s (sick flop for me amirite?).

100/200/25 arrives shortly, and i start opening a bunch, picking on nitty blinds mostly.

I also 3b bluff 3 times in really good spots, and take it down pre. I'm back to 20k.

This Finnish guy to my immediate right who I'd 3b a couple of times opened in bvb to 600, I 3b QhQs to 1725, and he times down a bit, then flats.

9d7d4d, he checks (he started hand with 16kish, i check back (mainly because i'm so +EV re: chipping up at this table, + villain seems competant), Qc trn (lawl), he checks again, so i bet 2725, he banks for about 1 min, then shoves, i superfistpump snap him off - " i guess i'm drawing dead" he offers as he reveals JxTd, 8d on river for the gg, and i'm down to 4k.

I reshove uncalled a few hands later, and commence stealing... we're back to 8k when i open 86o from CO, both blinds flat after some deliberation, As 8h6s, chk chk to me, i cbet 1125, SB folds, and BB shoves, i snap again and lose another flip V Js8s.

- 5.3k HU is tomorrow, starting stacks of 3k with 25/50 blinds, and 30min levels. Not the best structure.....but it is best of 3 matches (how cool, just found out today :)

- I'll do a lil wrap up at the end of my trip, as i didn't bring my camera --> computer cord, so can't add pics till in Auckland.

- Buying another Iphone tomorrow, yay.

small whine

2009-01-17T06:16:00.000-08:00

some sux: lost iphone, bet 1k on roulette and lost, i'm fat, Nikki's situation/mentality

wins: buying a new iphone, Aussie Millions + Melbourne, surrounded by intelligent, decent people, being able to openly discuss all issues with Nikki.

variance: pro's outweigh cons, but still depressed.

- one of our biggest problems (Nikki + I) is that she starts feeling guilty (pretty much) whenever we are intimate. As a friend of hers I do want to avoid bringing that on her, but I'm obviously conflicted since i have a bunch of other feelings for her which are often best expressed physically. So from here we have options, they basically all involve waiting and hoping (these are options i also see being 'ideal' fwiw).
More recently however, I've been seeing our future in a different light, as she'd been discussing polyamory, and general attraction to other people, with me. I really don't have a problem with a relationship evolving into something like that (in theory), but I don't currently have the drive (nor can i see myself wanting to) for 'wanting more' than 1 person can provide.
I think Nikki and I have been growing in different ways over the past 5 years, and it has left imprints on her subconscious.
here's a paint to aid visual:
don't get the wrong idea about me getting more red stuff.

- I think that a lot of the 'want to explore life' stuff (not just hers) comes from the desire to 'become' someone. I feel that is a misguided thought, as at some point you become so polluted by unavoidable influence that you aren't making decisions anymore (this is arguably always the case at someone's foundation), i guess you could call it change. I've always felt that being true to yourself (i.e: sticking to decisions, making 'sacrifices') would satisfy people more, but then I've never been one to care greatly for popularity (and a fair amount of self image creation [increasing with each generation afaic], comes from the want to succeed in the environment you admire/fantasize about the most, imo).
Part of me wants her to just trust my judgment.
Another part hates me for thinking i know better than her.
Then i arrive back at, seeing all of her positives, and how good we could be for each other.
Nowadays, after that thought, i goto visuals of her wanting to be with other people intimately, and I just cannot see past the selfishness. I mean, it makes sense if both people feel EXACTLY (to the 5th decimal place) the same way, but since i currently don't, and the goal of a relationship should never be to directly change someone (mutual growth ftw), I'm struggling to see past it all. A couple of my friends had asked me if i could see her repeating this pattern (leaving her partners for other ones, which imo, has just been coincidence), and my instinct was defno. She was always this strong woman who protected me as much as i did her, in my visuals. A true partner. Maybe I really am just that optimistic when visuals of my future are concerned (tho i do not see myself cashing etall in the AM : |)
I need to know what its like to speak to her when she has nobody else in the back of her mind.

- I'm so conflicted, its hilarious. Shit like this (and going busto) make me feel so alive. I also have nfi if I've just been reiterating for the past 30mins + i better leave some stuff to crap on about later.

so..

Acronym guide [?] long awaited

2009-01-14T15:41:00.000-08:00

for those of you who find yourselves having nfi what i'm on about sometimes, i present you with the list of acronyms/abbreviations that i use oft:

afaic - as far as i see
afaik - as far as i know
afk - away from keyboard
aka - also known as
apu - as per usual (lol if u thought kwik-E-mart/Aladdin's monkey)
atm - at the moment
ave - average
bcs - best case scenario
brb - be right back
btw - by the way
def - definitely
diaf - die in a fire
diagf - die in a grease fire
dnk - do not know
dnw - do not want (sometimes dnwd, where 'd' = dog)

ducy - do you see why?
en - editor's note
ffs - for fuck's sake

fml - fuck my life
ftm - forgot to mention
ftr - for the record
fu - fuck you
fwiw - for what it's worth
fyi - for your information
gg - good game

gl - good luck
gtfo - get the fuck out
GTs - good times
iirc - if i recall correctly
imo - in my opinion (imho = ..humble opinion)
inc - include (+/- suffixes)
jc - jesus christ (usually come as jfc/jmfc)
jsik - just so i know
jsuk - just so you know
lawl - lol
ldo - like duh, obviously
lyk - let you know
lmao - laughing my ass off
lol - laugh out loud
lul - lame uncomfortable laugh
mf - mother fucker
nh - nice hand
nfi - no fucking idea
nntr - no need to reply
nut(s)- best possible (x) usually (x) = hand (poker), aka nizzles
nutlo - worst possible (x)
obv - obviously
omg - oh my god

pov - point of view
pos - piece of shit
ppl - people
rofl - rolling on the floor laughing
rtg - ready to go
siihp - stick it in her pooper

som - state of mind
std - standard
stfu - shut the fuck up
tbh - to be honest
tcg - trading card game
thx - thanks
tla - three letter acronym
ttyl - talk to you later
ttys - talk to you soon
ty - thank you
ups - oops
V(x) - V will stand for either Very, or Value depending on (x)
w/e - whatever (fwiw i don't ever use it as 'weekend', iirc)
wcs - worst case scenario
wtf - what the fuck

- 'f' or 'mf' are often inserted into acronyms, meaning fuck/mother fucker +/- suffixes.

Poker:

bb - big blind

b/c - bet/call

b/f - bet/fold

bdfd - backdoor flush draw

btn - button (player on the button)

c/c - check/call

c/f - check/fold

c/s - check/shove

cl - chip lead(er)

co - cutoff (immediate right of button)

crai - checkraise allin

fd - flush draw

ft - final table

gs - gutshot

hj - Hijack (immediate right of cutoff)

hu - Head(s) Up

mp(x) - middle position

nfd - nut flush draw

oags - overs and a gutshot

oesd - open ended straight draw

sb - small blind

sdv - showdown value

tid - take it down

utg - under the gun

- I'll add to this whenever i realise I've left something out.

We meet again (Pt 3)

2009-01-14T14:11:00.000-08:00

had a pretty hot dream involving Kamilah last night, been a while since i've thought about her. She was kind + nurturing as well (Vuncharacteristic of her), which is something I'm realising more and more that i want in my life. Made me remember i am supposed to finish this 3 part post i began a while ago.
First there was baileys, then red wine, i guess I'll go grab a beer.
(there won't be too many pics, but i'll add whatever i can)
I believe i left off meaning to have mentioned a couple of camping trips (if you're observant you'll see this paragraph is rephrased - due to random deletion fyi)

this was our group

+ Tim (Roo's dad), who was photographer in this shot.
- ended up having a couple of 2hrish+ chats with him on the beach about life, and the path i'm on etc.. good memories actually.

The Yorke peninsula has SA's best beaches, surfwise at least, and i recall was kinda busy at the time we were there (so i guess it was a school holiday).
Jay Kimber, a girl i'd met at womad recently (hmm so i guess this was only 4monthsish after our last trip..[en: reality tv ftw?]) kinda piqued my interests, and i thought it would be a good idea to set her up with fin (Roushan's brother), as she'd had this huge thing for Duncan that had been going on for years, so i talked to him about it, and we agreed it would be a bit 2birds1stone, so I got her invited to this camping trip. Roo and I were being the instigators, which i enjoyed, as we both would take hypotheticals far enough that they'd basically become for comical purpose only, but we also both read situations well ..(fwiw i'm glad to be surrounded by alot of ppl like that nowadays)
- quick shoutout + the only other pic i had from that trip (speak'in of boids and stowns)
.. and thus produced good approaches to gettign what we want, which was setting up Fin and Jay, in this instance. He was really childish about it all though (i guess because he'd never dated before), and at one point Roo and i were pissed with him, and decided to 'sell' Jay to a family friend of their's Tom Grosser (didn't last long, as Fin made a move, i believe). Lol that said, they didn't have sex for the first 3 months they dated, hax imo, Roo was a virgin when we started dating, and we ended up sleeping with each other the first night she stayed at my place.
- Not in a bad way at all, she just knew what she wanted. I like that characteristic in people.

I remember thinking Jay was pretty hot, and telling Roo about that. ya. she was pissed, and from that point on, would assume i was attracted to alot of other women, if i ever bothered having a conversation i enjoyed with them (usually about relationships, and goals in life - wtf can i say, that stuff facinates me). Tbh, i generally would be, but i think its pretty impossible to avoid attraction, i just think people have different ways of accepting/dealing with it.

There was one occasion however, where i took it a step further (as i really felt i needed to know what it would be like with this person, else regret missed ops). Rousch had gone to earn gold fruit picking in Vic for a couple of months with Joanna, and a mutual friend of theirs' Lucy Hollingsworth. I met Imee (girl in question) in the Port markets on a Sunday, i was being nice to her cousin (he would play tcgs there weekly, and was a typical target for bullies - i.e: i was always nice to him), and we caught each others' eyes at some point. She came and introduced herself using Chad (who she'd always hated from school) as means, we smoked a couple of cigarettes together + good chats, and met up the following day at the botanic gardens. She was really into me, and i was pretty taken by her. Reality struck when she leaned in to kiss me (she had a bullbar nosering thing btw, epic lose - lol at the visual of me + gothish pierced chick btw, fwiw she was really petite..ldo ;), and i pulled away and told her i had a gf (i had been leading her on to a fairly high degree, but was contemplating what i wanted the whole time, and just trying to get in further so as to outline it). She was pissed. ups.
I called Roo, and told her i have to try this, so we need to break up. She was really distraught, and left for Adelaide the next day, getting stuck between semi trailers for long period along the way (12hr drive iirc).
Imee and I never really recovered from the fact that Roo was in the picture, and i realised there was less to it than i had thought initially anyway, so i ended it with her about a week later.
We never had sex fyi.
Roo still wanted to be with me fortunately, and things were normal again for a while with us.

At some point our relationship became pretty stale, but i was kinda content to stay with it, as my whole life was just travelling to card tournaments and being a nerd (i.e. i liked the stability of a gf), whereas she realised she wanted more from her youth. She had a couple of jobs, and decided to move out with Fin, Jay, and a friend of theirs' Lara.
She started dating another guy 2 weeks later. harsh for me, espec since it was the uber standard 29yo 'experieced guy' choice, so i kinda felt she was merging back into the realms of standardness, and that i'd wasted time with her (such a kiddy defence mechanism imo, mebz). Either way i could see every cog turning in that dumb tool's head, and it tilted the shit out of me to see her fucking her life up over him. The piece of ass still owes her at least 1k.
- I know Roo wouldn't really want me writing too much about this stuff, but it was part of my life too, so i feel obliged to go into some details.

Being separated from her (but still friends) had its ups and downs, I had been hanging out with Joanna Romaniuk pretty much daily, which was great to take my mind off stuff, and spent the rest of my time playing live pokers &/ with Spratty.

Roo had a party at her place one evening which i dragged some friends to, and met Dave (her pofs bf) for the first time. I still can access the visual of her holding him around the waist telling me she that they were now in love (this is like 6weeks after we'd broken up, and he was a face-up, sleazy motherfucker.. gg life), lawl, later that night her roomie Lara was chatting to me, and became quite attracted to me, i was horny (initially), and she seemed ok, so she asked roo's permission to hook up with me. lmao. There's something about bad head and a long blonde bush that detracts from my interest in a woman tho, but it did lead to the first awesome time i'd had with roo in ages the following morning. We'd all slept 2-3 hrs, and a bunch of us headed to a friend's house for breakfast. Roo and I were both catching our 'second winds', and were just pissing ourselves at everything, and lolling at how i couldn't get hard for lara.

One day Roo and I were hanging at the markets, we'd just ordered some banana & mango delights at Zuma, she went off to look at shoes, and I started munching on a mango, getting shit all over me. There was this hot girl sitting across from me and i think we made eye contact...I went inside to grab a serviette, and bumped into Jay outside the door on my way back out, the hot girl then came up and intro'd herself before running back to work. I asked Jay for a hookup, her name was Kamilah.
Our first meeting started with breakfast at Al Fresco, and ended with us each getting the last pieces of public transport home. She lost her keys that night, i got her a new key ring, fun ensued. We played pool at a bar on Rundle st a few nights later with her brother, there was heaps of sexual tension between us, and our first act of intimacy was later that evening when her brother was dropping me off at the cas (older brother fwiw, but he's more of the child in their relationship), she was front passenger seat, i was behind, she reached her arm behind her chair, i held it briefly and kissed her hand. We made plans for a dinner at her house the following night.
It was awesome, she's a chef uc, had some peroni's while eating on the ground, then we made out a bit on the ground and she straddled me clothed. I got pretty hard pretty fast. She told me she wanted a quick shower, i was like 'coolio', then she whispered 'what would you like me to wear when i come back?' in my ear, i'm a fan of having to remove some clothes as part of the foreplay, so i opted for some cool knickers, and a loose shirt. fuck, she looked amazing. really hot vagina too + huge clit.
Anyways, won't get into those details too much, but she's the best sex i've had to date, and we had alot of GTs involving her cooking + beers + sex, rinse/repeat. She isn't exactly a considerate person though, and the fact that i had this pending Euro trip coming up kinda blocked her from wanting a relationship with me, though there were a few days where we'd be lying in bed together, and she ask me if I think it could/will work with us.
I took her out to a degustation one night at Penfold's Estate, pretty fucking balla - we never had to pull in our own seats, or open a door, we both dressed up nicely too, and had a diverse meal + sick wine (on reflection it wasn't infinitely expensive - i dump alot more money on crap these days anyway, $660 total tho). She got all embarrassed after we'd finished, as i asked the chef to come out and talk to her about the foods. lol authenticfrenchaccentaments.

- Europe was next, Kamilah sms'd me for a while, but it died out, which i'm glad about now, but was hard at the time. She'll be a pretty different person in 10 years, I feel that way about a lot of people, nfi about myself. I think it's around this time that i started blogging, i guess i'll update stuff about the past as it comes to me (lolbad memory etc..)

Oh Nein!!

2009-01-05T02:53:00.000-08:00

plz excuse me while I

I have less pix than usual (since i opened with this, i gained some pix, but liked the gtfoness), as I recently left my iphone (while posting a present - tyvfm karma u mofo) in a post office in town and it was stolen in the 30mins before close :(

- lol my mum sent an sms to the theif politely asking if he/she would return the phone to her son who 'saved up for it and would really like it back' <3 bought a portable harddrive for Roo, and filled it with infinite stuff we used to watch/that she should watch (time + effort + maney = win imo)
received a journal hand made by Nikki containing her thoughts+activities during our [..] two week, break period. inc a couple of pics, and alot of effort.

Spent my Xmas day with a friend I travelled to LA with 3 years ago (James White), and his wife + some friends of theirs. Good eats, but i missed my internets and left a little early.

New Years: Anna's bach in Raglan (2hr drive SW from Auckland), there was an average of 10 of us there for 3 days. We beached a few hrs daily (yes, i obviously got burnt - even back of knees : |), and played a bunch of games (inc physical ones, which my body has barely recovered from..+ the small amount of uncomfortable sleep on a really soft floor mattress). Namely a game Anna intro'd us to called 'mafia', which involves gathering info (from physical tells, conversation tactics, and various in-game roles) and using it to determine who the 'mafia' is (they kill 1 player per turn, so u have a clock more/less) Got a soulreed on Shaun in the opening round of the game, and persuaded the others to 'have him lynched', it tilted him so much he bet me $20 that i was the 'detective' (prime in-game info gatherer), which he also stated i could raise. roffle, i have perfect infomation, so i snap pot to $100, which he knows he has to pay off due to my image. Dave in the meantime is actually rofl'ing, as he was the real inspector. send maney. I offered Shaun a chance to get unstuck when i laid 3-2 in a high carding game which is pretty much even money when u play randomly, but my terms were that he had to observe each card before playing it. lawl, he gave away crucial info in the final round, and i was able to own him again.
- Just finished (2 days after starting this post) playing that high card game with Dave. We intro'd some new rules, and i really like the dynamic between us. It usually comes down to how much credit you give the other for each action, since alot of focus is on how your actions are perceived...the problem with levelling is its kindof a odd/even flip to determine what thought they're having, which leads to what section of their hand they'll play + history and readjustments, etc... GTs

Poker:

- HU except 8k-13k which is 6m. I'm really lazy, but i've started 12tabling 6m, and i feel kinda challenged, as i'm unsure of how spewy to be preflop since i'm minopening infy - i assumed it would be good to 4b lite alot, but i swear i get shipped on like 70% even tho i'm 4b to this year, as a friend of a friend is buying 75% of me in all donkaments i'm playing. fingers crossed for the ME ldo - I'll probably have a pretty pokery blog post in a few weeks detailing it.

Nikki: (the following was written 4am drunkish ftr, felt like leaving it unedited - kinda went for dotpoints, then merged - pics added after tho, they seemed like good 'bookends' for this)

stayed over about a week ago, after we had dinner with a bunch of my friends (inc. Enchante, who i'm a big fan of, as he knows alot, and treats me like a child).
connection is awesome
met her gay friend Andy following day, got along pretty well, he thinks we'd make a 'cute couple'
she saw Tocky that night after crossing her own boundaries, and ended up calling me to say she can't see me the way things are, as she only has 3months left here, and wants to enjoy her remaining time with Tocky + friends. I told her that won't solve issues etc.. and will just lead to false perception of her sitch + (hopefully) regret, re: not trialing me and her out.
Went to see her and talk in person about it following day.
She told me she loves me. I had recently confirmed to myself (+ mentioned to her) that i love her, obviously its nice to have it returned - did not really expect though.
I decided it was best to respect her decision, and have no direct contact with her until she wants to be with me (or rather, when she knows for sure who she wants to be with)
We had dinner + drinks and started discussing it (but we topic change infy, so we didn't get too far, + its hard to try and 'end' something that neither of us want to stop), and i kinda became overcome a little by how much i love spending time with her, and all the things i'd miss, so i almost retracted my original proposition. Mainly because she implyed to Tocky it was confirmed, and that that night was her saying goodbye to me, whereas i thought we were still discussing it as a whole (it always seems like there is never enough time with her : |)
I misclicked on her phone while she was going to bathroom, and i was writing a sms reply to Tocky i planned on pretending to send, but accidentally sent first half of it. Then in an epic brainfart to recover from my mistake, i sent the remaining half as planned, but mentioned that it was me sending it. wtf was i thinking, [..] lol. She told me soon after how her feelings for me plummetted when she saw me messaging. I have the visual of her scrunching up her respect for me and discarding it stuck in my head. so harsh. Not being able to trust someone to maintain their feelings is really taxing. related: She feels I'm too critical of her, I really disagree... I'm a Vcritical person, but i feel like i support her judgement more than almost anyone i know, i respect her views/beliefs, i know she's a strong woman, and i really am grateful for being part of her life.
Harsh words to hear. "why do you have to be so critical of me all the time?" was her reply to the "so rigged" i muttered as she was setting a time to meet Tocky (on our last fucking night together for who fucking knows how long), whilst on the phone to him, with the intention of him overhearing. That was a low point, as she is conveying to him that i'm the 'bad guy' in all of this, and her audible disrespect for me is a reinforcement to him that she's prioritising him, and unnattached to me. Just seems like she's looking for excuses for us not to work. Also harsh, seeing as i haven't felt this way since i was with Roushan.
My relationship with Nikki graph would be really volitile.

we're curently having no contact until she wants to i guess... things that i really wanted to do but now most likely cannot:

intro her to my Dad (who's arriving Jan 29th i think) + teach her a bit about Turkey
meet her sister
into to Paul and Belinda
call her with a couple of updates on my looming poker trip (even though she wouldn't know the specifics i'd be crapping on about, I know she'd really be happy or sad for me, and I'd feel uplifted by her spirits regardless of my outcome)
see her open gallery fight comeing up soon(ish)
alot of small things we'd been meaning to tick off
+show her what online poker is
and watch a bunch of crap we'd been meaning to.

I have some DVDs of her's + her bathers still at my house, which is kinda a relief as i know she'll need them at some point, so I'll get to see her again. However giving myself comfort isn't what i want. I want to show her decision making some respect, as she may decide she doesn't want to see me again, and i feel its unfair on her to put her in that situation. All i know is that i trust + respect his girl, and that I wouldn't want it to work with us if she didn't want me enough to take risks.

Decided to quit masturbating this month, wonder how horny i'll get.

Tocky is moving into her house btw

edit: just played some 3 a side basketball, and lost 26-30, good fun though. I really enjoy sports/games with Enchante and David. Playing 5 a side indoor soccer tomorrow, really wanted Nikki to come, bitchin.

Xmas nears...

2008-12-14T15:54:00.000-08:00

Just finished the majority of my shopping, fuck i shop gud for ppl, xmas would be fun even if i was the only one getting peeps presents, because i just feel like its a massive owning when they unwrap the awesomeness i purchase for them (i.e: guilt oft ensues).

pics as promised:
2p2er dissed Nikki's golf stance in above pic, she located thread herself, but missed cool op to post in forum i'm part of.

Dave and Jess

We just played 9 holes, and david gave us (we played teams) 3.5 strokes, but my A-game was on, and we destroyed them, then reaped a free lunch each. Pretty epic o/u line set (in pink texta ;) on where a beer bottle emptied into a pint glass would reach, i got 2-1 for setting, and i set srsly less than 1mm from where it was, and dave scooped (mentally breaking even for the day, lol).

We bought a bbq, and had some ppl around on sat for guitar hero, eats, and a bit of a swim. Bumped into girl from across the hall, and invited her + her sis over also, she seems pretty solid, hopefully she'll merge into our group a bit.

- so yeh; after our afternoon of golf, Nikki came back to mine, and a bunch of us were hanging out swimming etc.. I had a great time, but regret was there on her part, due to breach of agreement with Tockushu (her bf), which resulted in bad things for all parties.
We decided it would be a good idea to take a fortnight-long break a couple days later, and its been really hard for me, as i'm just starting to have a bunch of srs feelings for her, and without her around it: a) gives my thoughts no closure, and b) i dwell too much... miso rucky tho, because she email'd me today (blank topic, no content, <3) and when i went for the prank call (classy response imo), she figured it was me, and we ended up talking a bit :)
lolnote: (preface) I call for her while she's at work sometimes, and if her boss answers i use one of my wide range of terrible foreign accents, and ask what the opening hrs are. Apparently a Chinese guy called and was asking her about an item in the window display (a topic of conver we've shared more/less before), so she probably hung up on him or w/e. obviously this is pants for me, sicne she'd figure i'm just missing her infy, and she barely has time to think about stuff due to 5/7 work + gym, band, and relationships. To add to that, apparently she received a couple of sms from unknown numbers, and someone left a tape recording outside her shop : | ffs, i hate that people know i'm capable of shit like that, when it isn't actucally me... funny coincydinks tho ldo.

In one of my few attempt to take my mind off things (apparently poker isn't considered as a worthwhile option), Dave and I embarked on a little mission to have social relations with randoms, while i pretended to have lost my hearing (recently ldo, so that sign language wouldn't be crucial), and he was supposed to adopt my persona. Hudge Fail, he didn't want to use disability as leverage (since i was confident in hooking him up ;), and he found it too hard to 'be me' whilst having to keep in mind that actual me couldn't speak or listen - speaking part obv not essential as i'd only recently lost hearing, but i figured it would make it a more 'full-on' experience.

Daz, Shaun, Dave, Sandra (Darryn's gf), James (friend of Dave's who came to Melbourne for the Crown trip), Anna (James' gf, who i've been hanging with a bit, and was my inside source for things that have been going on with Nikki), James' sister (+ a friend of hers), Myself, and maybe Nikki, will be going away for New Years to Anna's Bach (pronounched batch, meaning holiday house in enzeddish) which is a couple hrs drive from Auckland. Should be some good times ahead, and hopefully i'll view new yr as a new page poker wise - yah, i'm lazy, but i'm still shipping 16ptBB/100 for the last 2 months HU.

cu next yr

Oi Vey

2008-11-30T02:20:00.000-08:00

This month wasn't a great success. I started strong but only put in 1 full day of poker (5k hands) this month, and 10days of gym, ended up eating like the fatass i am too : | at least i didn't drink any alchohol.

- forgive me, i feel like poos atm, as i just (1hr ago) finished my month off poorly, poker wise:

fortunately my weak efforts have motivated me to grind again, hopefully i don't find a heater week 1/win a donkament, as i'll probably get lazy again (not that breakeven stretches are fun :)

I don't even really have shit to offer in this poast, though i should have some good pics of golfing with carts, guitar hero world tour, and 8 handed buzz by next weekend (so i might bump this, as opposed to gtfo). I spent most of my time thinking about Nikki, which has its ups and downs, currently a lil down, as we can't goto each others' houses due to ultimatum set in motion by her bf, but that's ok since she alway

Its exciting tbh, because i don't know what's going to happen + i'm having lots of choice visuals, and a bunch of ncie moments. I dropped in on the Japan day fest in Auckland to find her up on stage sounding uber kiwi (doing translations), then leading the crowd in dance. so hot. I know that girl! she even did the whole 'get embarrassed a lil upon my arrival' thing for me :)
but not as much of a turn on as when i watched her and her band (Ice Cream Soldiers) perform a couple of nights ago:

lol, i finally took an STD test (you don't cum in a cup fyi), results pending. they also prescribed me 144 condoms for $6, score :)

- I'm a bit tired + i think i'd enjoy doing this more while drinking, so I'll finish writing about Nov after this wkend's housewarming (Shaun replaced our American roomie) + have some more pics. I feel like turning a new page per month these days, blog is the gateway...hence bothering with an incomplete post. On the +side you find out my crush is progressing.

ttys

Back to NZ

2008-10-30T05:06:00.000-07:00

...but first:

PNC day 2 improved, i made the FT of the PLOr (coverage here)

unfortunately i lost all pots where someone was allin, finishing 5th for just under 6k :(

5k chip pretty sexy

- the rest of PNC was kinda poor, although Joe Hachem shouted me 3 drinks while we sat together in the $550 HORSE, and Melbourne was great.

- My ME bustout happened in lvl 1 : |
i'd lost the only pots i played so far, and may aswell get them on paper..or at least the only significant one :)
open KQo utg first hand (7 handed, dead BB) HJ and Btn flat;
Ks Js 6x - i c/c btn's 500, HJ dumps
Qs turn - i c/c another 500
To riv - check, check, Red AA r gud = /

I also had NFD v a smaller FD, where the guy was always losing his stack (3 runners, some random nit lady barrelled all sts - even though i was pfr)

Trust Fund baby i was playing 5/5/10 plo with night before (who was stuck 8k :P, and V steamy/gambolly, but knew how to play a bit, just too much fps [and stupidity]), moves to my table with around 30k (starting bank is 20k), he loses every pot he plays for a couple orbits, playing something like 50/30/2, then i open AKo utg to 275 (with around 16k to start), get 4 flats, and he SQ to 1275, so i decide i have to 4b, and probably 4b/fold, because live turds cannot 5b bluff, i make it 3325, he tank flats (+ speeches), and it comes 234r, so i cbet/call his moan "i only beat AK shove" and his KK holds :(
fwiw i think he thought he was beat. I cbet 3825 ftr.

- Went out shopping in Melbs, bought Iphone (after long hassle, finally unlocked and working), and some clothes. We also had a good night out on the town (where we = Daz, David, James, and myself), starting with a stingy dinner, then a bunch of drinks, propbetting ensued ( i think this was one of the few times darryn didn't have to pay for his meal, np btw ;) we scaled some stairs in a race to a statue 3 handed, and introduced the (don't elect me for parliament ldo) greatest rule for verbal betting ever: If you ever make a direct bet to anyone who has agreed to the gentlemenly contract, that person (or any person who is a part of this 'discipline') can take the opposing side of the offered bet and raise up to 2x pot.. fwiw if there are 3 options, and 2 people are betting on 2 of them where 1 is a chop, 3rd man can come in and pot them both. if you fold to the raise, you lose the amount you offered in the bet, betting is uncapped. Anyway David had been running hot in all forms of propbetting, and offerred a $100 flip, i valuetowned him to the tune of $300, he called, and i won one :)
Next stop strip club, where david's money bought a round of the womyns (first one i'd ever been too, don't think i'll be returning any time soon)

- Off to Adelaide then (editor's note [not that i edit ayk]: i really wanna blog about something, so i'm probably going to be skipping inf, and not getting into much detail - cliffs : stfu/gtfo), and going to be staying with Spratt.

Fin.

..saw Roo and Matt pretty much daily, but didn't really do too much with either, outside of a few drinks, and a round of golf (matt + chad).

saw...

Kamilah - she burnt me a bunch of music we used to listen to together, which was Vnice of her.

Chantal - we laxed and talked about our situations, i also met her bf, who seems nice, but tbh she's kinda out of his league, and i think weed is just a negative influence on her life.

Duncan - we obtained crucial souvlaki @ Eros, and i met his gf, who seems like an interesting match for him. gl to them.

Aruna - hard working as always, and a person that will definitely accomplish whatever goals she sets for herself. lol Duncan told me that a few months after i was booted from Westminister, a teacher was badmouthing me in an example for something, and she was outraged, stood up and told the class that "Koray is a wonderful man" XD, followed by a storm out ldo.

- I bought some Lacoste shoes, and a pair of non-optical lenses (had been on my mind for a while), before heading back to NZ.

I'd gained about 5kg of beer + curry, and spent alot fo cash on my Au trip, so i'm in a good mood to settle into a nice routine for Nov :)

but frist, i had been meaning to get a drink with Nikki ("Muah girl" that i mentioned before), as she was cool enough to respond to the pic i posted of epic lager (on fb) with "it's the win!", and she has some sickute pics on there that i scoped all of : |

admittedly, one of, if not, the best, cutesy pics of her, but proof nonetheless.

[..] ninja comma'ing

- unfortunately for both of us, she isn't single, infact, she's been in a serious relationship for 2.5yrs. Regardless, and under the guise of friendship, we agreed to meet at my place for lunch + drinks. What i wasn't aware of however, was that drinks for Nikki should really come without the plural:

[..] her in pic
[x] ldo

We flirted a bit whilst sharing life stories - though she's a fan of my blog apparently, so she had a little edge. Conver would have made for funny visuals, as we followed each other around the house while listening, ala follow the leadurrr (note: would have replaced "followed" with 'danced' to add "...like we danced around the topic of our attraction to each other", but i've filed my quota of weak lines for the week [at least], and more importantly i don't float around a topic for too long, i.e: i brought it up, and we discussed it a little, which led to some ridiculously perfect physical connection - non-sexual fwiw).
- ftm, we also had a bit of a playfight (which she started :), massive turnon, as i've always wanted to be able to fight my partner, and she can definitely take it + she is possibly the strongest woman i've messed around with (and Roo is def a toughy), and this is a 5'5" half jap girl we're talking about - she speaks fluently fyi, and busts out anime impressions on demand. Hawt.
AND to top it off she hearts these nets, and uses some TLAs in the RL.
[?] too good to be true
[x] harsh, pending reality

- later that night she was going to Box Wars (an annual comp where you are given infy cardboard, and are to make weapons + armour from them within 4 hrs, then have a multiway [like 16handed] fight, not a proper tournament ldo, mainly for lols) with her bf, then a concert at a bar in town after, both of which i had been invited to, so off to box wars, and to meet the more than likely cool bf..

Shaun and I got in there after a few weapons were dropped, and he totally sucker punched me while i was walking into then middle, and it was kinda on for all of 20 seconds. Fun though. Apparently concrete can hurt according to what he said after :P
Went to the club after meeting up with Rollos from 2p2 (we played some 1kplo 50%each few days prior and ran a bit below, but still managed 1BI+, i also beat him out of $640NZD in 9co), i felt i should drag someone along, especially not to make her to uncomfortable. It was dead at the start though, so we pissed off elsewhere, then returned with Daz+Dave+Shaun+2x Korean chix, who were unsuccessfully picked up come night's end ([?] fragment; consider revising), and it had become insanely packed, luckily spotted nikki, and we had some chats about what her options are re: telling the bf, and were able to fit in a bit of noise polluted piano (we played till booted at the upstairs bar), and even a little bit of a dance.
- she texted me asking if i'd like the last dance a little later. fuck, i really warm to that kind of stuff. Unfortunately i'd left with the others.

the only pic of us:

[..] omgomg ducwatididthur?
[..] paint skillz
[x] the epitome of meh

- but i had her on my mind, and this seemed like a decent outlet at the time :)
dw she told me she had me on her mind also (volunteered info), such a relief to hear :)
you know when you go over all the little moments and stares you shared when you first encountered each other, except this time you hear their povs (lol holecardcamaments)

Nikki left her last bf for the current one, in a quoteunquote 'similar situation' - obviously bad for my hopes
cliffs on hopes:

puhleez. Some things have to be left unconfirmed, no matter how implied they might be.

- We had another awesome day yesterday, i got to look through some photos albums, and we played some keyboard for each other. She plays keyboard in a band atm. That was real pleasant.. I also happened to have the perfect amount of tired, soo relaxed.
Tonight, she's going to be telling her bf the full extent i think, so i'm kinda squirmy, as
worst case scenario is: she decides her commitment to him is too great, and its too much of a risk to see me anymore. I'm hoping for the not. I don't know what i'm hoping will happen with them though, because there aren't too many winwin breakups, so basically i'll just take anything that lets us get to know each other better, where less boundaries = better.

Was shopping today with Daz and Shaun (who will hopefully be replacing our current roomy Andy - who is moving back to the states early Dec), and we decided to high card where loser has to go on one of those astronaut, just because it looked like such a beat.

I open a 4, daz peels his 5, and Shaun was karmowned for looking prematurely with the 3d.

[x] he complains now...

[..] but look how much fun he's having!

Nov Goals:

spend more time with Nikki
100k hands
gym at least 5/7, inc 5k jog
no alcohol

PNC day 1

2008-10-11T22:58:00.000-07:00

Now i remember what its like to sit for 7 hours, play 150 hands, and never win a relevant pot.

$230, 75k gt (no antes : ), starting stacks were 3k, and i chip up pretty fast to just over 6k i iso'd AK and flopped me a TP, and i flatted QQ v utg and call/call/shoved a 642KQ (he folded). then i isolate 3 limpers at 25/50 to 300 from btn, get 2 calls and cbet 750 into ~1100 on T98r, 1st guy c/c's other folds, Jo trn, he has 675 left and c/moancalls AI with KJ and gets there.

I chip back up a bit into 100/200 (have 5.8k), fish limps MP1, folds to my SB and i raiz to 850 with 99, BB tanks and flats, limper calls. 772r, i am thinking about whether to shove, or lead, when BB moves in for 2.6k.. i ask if its binding, so i opt to c/c, because if the limper has 44 he's getting felted, but might muck if i lead, AQs makes a pair on me. Fuck it tilts me when they take poor lines.

i fold a bunch of crap, then shove ATs over 2 MP limps for 2325 at 150/300, btn wakes up with AA, SB with KK, wp gents.

- I then played some cash (2/3), dropped $775 in 3hoursish. I feel like ranting a bit so i'll go into key hands..

Old man accidentally exposes a 5s, i'm the only one who notices, so i 3b his MP iso from $15 to $48, it gets HU ($150 eff) i cbet my 73o on Qs8s6s and he minraises AI... sigh.

Iso AA to $15 after stupid fugly lady reg limps utg, 3 ways $130 eff, AxTy7x, i cbet $25 when checked to, and fugly c/c's. 2o trn, i decide to check back so that she'll bluff missed draws, and c/c pairs to mt 'obvious' spread dbl barrel. Might not be the best play, but she probably wasn't calling more than $40 with her draws anyway (aware of those pot odds apparently). Jo river, she leads $25 so i shove, and she has 89o, nh.

Outside of this Old, man c/minR my cbets HU twice, and shows tarped QQ once, and flopped trips the other, so i'm pretty steamed :)

Asian dude who looks like a live reg sits (seems more conservative than the gambolgambol ones tho), and i 3b his 1st Iso with AQo from SB all fold, few hands later i 3b his Iso with AKo and get cold called by btn (for half his stack), asian dude thinks a bit and flats TT then openshoves $135 on a 962ss, so i "shove" to fold out the other dude who obliges, TT holds. What a fucking moron.

my 99 open gets flatted by old shortstack, and he moves in over my cbet on 248ss with AA for ~$100, wp apu.

fugly bitch stacks my in the end when she decides to stand up to all of my iso'ing by limp/calling J5o v my 77, and donks J64s $15 i flat, she bets $25 on 2s turn (i have 7s), so i shove for value and she calls and holds.

- Ahh, that feels better :)

also, i am pretty fucking sick atm, so hopefully it clears up asap. looking forward to more tournaments (6m and ME have antes, i'll also probably play the $550 horse)

October-san, yoroshiku

2008-10-10T15:23:00.001-07:00

I played September pretty bad: ~12k hands of breakeven FR, alot unnecessary carbs, and limited excercise.

the pros: made three of FTs, won 1, 5th in others. Bet $100 against Darryn's jacket that i liked in a best of 3 HU soloman draft (mtg) and 'owned his soul', won $38 in our weightloss bet (i'm 91kg atm, but was 89 when i arrived here : |)
a beggar was at one of the FTP FTs apu, and was freestyling was his bidnezz:
WaylonB (Observer): yo yo they call him ess eye dee... hes tryin to play poker, cant you see... but you got anoyying beggers floatin around like a bumble bee... dont go away just like a damn flee...but im the illest begger around, i think we both can agree
- I xferred $5, mainly because i'd never done that before.

- i've still been seeing this deaf girl, and as promised, pics:

- had the best thread setup for BBV if i didn't fail; was making a deep run in the sunday million, and had her bent over my chair for 4 levels (now ic why they have donkament breaks), here are the HHs in progressive order:

http://www.pokerhand.org/?3283736 - approx 350 ppl remain at this point :)

http://www.pokerhand.org/?3284048 - just over 100 ppl left 650k'ish average (iirc)

http://www.pokerhand.org/?3284068 - i like me some 30, at least my luckbox was still on

http://www.pokerhand.org/?3284071 - this was the very next hand, so it becomes more of a shove imo (since i'm supposed to be more of a nit atm) - unfortunately he is just in control that pot, as i doub't he's ever raise calling worse, but he might fold JJ. [x] ideal result

http://www.pokerhand.org/?3284197 - sif that doesn't brick ;)

http://www.pokerhand.org/?3284397 - pretty standard, nice to have everything go correctly

http://www.pokerhand.org/?3284581 - begginning of downfall, fwiw he just lost 2/3rds his stack hand before - though V a good player, it makes it more likely he has me crushed, but i didn't know anything much about him at the time, so call is pretty standard i guess.

http://www.pokerhand.org/?3284632 - :( now its kinda faceup we're getting GG'd

http://www.pokerhand.org/?3284638 - i waited a couple hands so i could shove on the nits' blinds, wp surrr. at least i flopped the tease :)

http://www.pokerhand.org/?3284639 - wheee

http://www.pokerhand.org/?3284651 - ohhh

- and that was that.

played the $550 live ploament, ran pretty lol, and signed up for the 3k so that i could score the free drinks offered to entrants that night. chatted to raymer, photo ensued :P

APPT

good looking tournament, 60min levels, 10k starting stack, first lvl is 25/50.

- 1st hand of note: 3 limps, i iso from Co to 300 (1st lvl) folds to backmost limper who flats (he's a japanese loose passive fish, so this seems ideal). preface; he'd previously limp called AKs, c/c flop and turn on 2x3y6h 7h, and donked 1/3 pottish on the Qh riv with NF.
flop: Ad7c3c, he donks 150, i raise to 650, he calls :(
turn: 9c, chk, chk
river: 4c, he leads 500, i give it a few seconds and fold saying "umoshiroi" ('interesting', in japanese)

- 2 EP semi fishes limp, i decide to overlimp K6s (50/100, we have 9kish) on btn because they are kinda tricky, and i've been iso'ing a bit + the frist limper has limped KK and JJ prior, SB completes, 5 ways.
flop: KhTh6d, chk, chk, to first limper who leads 250, other limper raises to 1050, and he's been active enough, so i decide not to think about mucking flop, and opt to flat (which is pretty std) hoping it gets HU, and he checks turn. it does get HU.
turn: 7c, he checks, i decide to bet/fold 1750, because he hasn't done anything but c/c draws when OOP, + i think my btn flat scared him alot, so its also a PC bet if he has KT. he calls.
river: Js, chk, chk, apparently i have to show first :( he shows KTo

- Japfish limps HJ, i iso 97o from btn to 550 (100/200, we have ~5k), he calls.
flop: KsTs8d, chk, i check for many different reasons.
turn: Js, he leads 600, i flat after some though, mainly because he'd just won the last 2 pots so he's less likely to be calling a raise with worse (except sets) - my plan for the hand was obviously just to barrel him off overs anyway :P
river: 6o, he c/c 1850 with AxQs, i lol and say 'suberashi' (amazing/outstanding - it is received as a compliment [as intended])

- Japfish limps again and we have ~10Bb at 100/200, i decide to overlimp KJo for superior decision making on flop. 4 ways with the blinds.
flop: JT8r, BB leads 350, i shove, and hold v J9 :)

- I open AhAc utg, folds to Japfish BB who flats (100/200/25 we have ~4k)
flop: Jh9h3h, he min donks, i raise to 1225, he flats.
turn: 8h, he donk shoves, i snap and we have ~9k

- 1st hand of 150/300/25 folds to semi nit who had more/less just doubled to 5.5k, he opens to 800, and i decide that he really won't be calling a shove light - probably JJ+/AK, and chipping up here gives us lots of room to steal + we has an Ace AND a Three. so i make the allin (while i was still mulling it over tbh, but he just looked so scared), and he starts tanking, fidgeting, and sloppily checking his hole cards every 10 seconds or so, so i'm feeling good about myself, and i'm listening to operation blade by public domain, so wcs i just put a stake through this tard's heart + all the slowmo jumping.
he calls!?!?!? wtf? QQ, i laughed, board came out JTX K A, so i'm not sure if he thought he lost on riv for a second :P
oh wellz that wasn't exactly crucial, but <3 self all the same

- I get moved to a different table and we have 4.9k at the first/second hand of 200/400/50 after a steal or 2, utg (who was to my immediate left at old table, and still is at the new one) limps, another loose player limps, + an unknown, and i chk Ah2h since i think i'm getting snapped by any PP 90%+, FD plz.
flop: KhTd4h, tyty, i check 2nd limper bets 1200, folds to me, and i decide there is more FE live in shoving that Vsizing a semi bluff, so i do, he says call, i say nuts, and he tables JQo which bricks.

- utg+1 opens to 1100 (200/400/50, we have ~10k) - he looks decentish, and has been opening a bit + sizing adequately, so i 3b'induce to 2850 (we cover by like 1.3k), random huge steaming lady flats BB, and utg+1 calls fastish.
flop: T62ss, chk, chk, i ask for a count on utg+1, and then announce we'll bet the amount that puts him AI (i feel that is the strongest line, because its like announcing we have a hand to showdown), lady folds (apparently KQs) utg+1 calls 55, and turns a set :(
I think his line there is total pants, and he claimed he calls because my asking for count is weak, and he was folding to a shove... EVEN IF that was the case (tbh i think its more because he's just such a level 1 thinker), wtf is he doing preflop? [x] grrr

- good 2p2er opens EP next hand, i wakeup with KK and it holds V TT.

- I shove K8s (friend of AXs apparently) utg on nits BB, btn wakes up QQ, and the 30 holds :P
so we're back to 7kish.

- another 2p2er gets moved to my table at 300/600/75 (last level of the day), we're 7handed, and he shoves MP for 6BB tot i call A2s and chop with his AKs on a double paired. ty surrr.

- 55guy opens utg to 1500, i 3b shove QQ, and as expected he calls light, saying 'i don't think you have much' as he slides in 5.3k more with QJs. he flopped a FD at least for a sweat, but now we finally have over starting stack with 14k and things feel nice.

- few hands later good 2p2er opens utg/utg+1 to 1500, i has an AKo, and since he's decent i decided i'd induce better by making it seem like there was less FE so i make is 4025 instead of 3625ish (he has approx same stack size), guy to my immediate left wakes up and shoves about 16k (he's never folding JJ here and probably not 50% of AQ's) we call. KK is good, and we bust 20min before the end of day 1 :(

went out for dinner+drinks with the two 2p2ers from my table + a couple of others, ran well at CCroulette, and didn't get told i smelt like onions.
always good to hangout with people who you can actually have conversations with.

- I'm about to head off to Melbourne for the PNC now (flight leaves in 4 hrs), and surprise my mummy :) so hopefully run good, and have some GTs. Then over to Adelaide to hangout with Spratty and Roo for about a week. She was in a car accident recently (uninjured fortunately), and has totalled her parents 2nd car now - wasn't her fault, and will hopefully receive maximum compensation from insurance (but still probably won't be awesome), she luckily didn't smoke some weed she had on her that day, otherwise she wouldn't have passed drug test, and would have had alot of bad years with her parents ahead. Run good/bad is all perspective Roo.

ttyl

o0 0o

2008-09-13T00:14:00.000-07:00

So i've been a lazy drunken pos recently. started game selecting 400nl abit, and played well over 4-6tables, just beating up on fish, then played the biggest pot of my online life...

http://www.pokerhand.org/?3184579 - at least i know i'm not scared monies rite?

- then decided to take a shot at the WCOOP #6 and ended up dropping 1100 in donkament buyins that day. Spratty didn't think that was worth responding to, chat ensued..:

9/8/2008	2:04:56 PM	Kaki	Matt Spratt	ran lol bad
9/8/2008	2:05:01 PM	Kaki	Matt Spratt	1.1k in BIs down the tubes
9/8/2008	6:09:05 PM	Kaki	Matt Spratt	ty 4tha ty
9/8/2008	6:09:16 PM	Matt Spratt	Kaki	?
9/8/2008	6:09:35 PM	Kaki	Matt Spratt	don't even comment on my 1.1k in donkaments blown
9/8/2008	6:09:45 PM	Kaki	Matt Spratt	its ok
9/8/2008	6:09:52 PM	Kaki	Matt Spratt	i'm a PRO
9/8/2008	6:09:56 PM	Kaki	Matt Spratt	this is how we do
9/8/2008	6:10:21 PM	Matt Spratt	Kaki	lol @ blown
9/8/2008	6:10:36 PM	Kaki	Matt Spratt	lol @ busto
9/8/2008	6:11:05 PM	Matt Spratt	Kaki	you didn't post any HH's
9/8/2008	6:11:14 PM	Matt Spratt	Kaki	all you said was you spent 1.1k
9/8/2008	6:11:17 PM	Matt Spratt	Kaki	you always do this
9/8/2008	6:11:23 PM	Matt Spratt	Kaki	what the fuck do you want from me
9/8/2008	6:11:32 PM	Matt Spratt	Kaki	do you honestly want me to say "there there"
9/8/2008	6:11:34 PM	Matt Spratt	Kaki	christ
9/8/2008	6:11:37 PM	Matt Spratt	Kaki	you're pathetic
9/8/2008	6:11:39 PM	Kaki	Matt Spratt	god stfu
9/8/2008	6:11:50 PM	Kaki	Matt Spratt	lol
9/8/2008	6:11:53 PM	Kaki	Matt Spratt	yeah good read
9/8/2008	6:12:45 PM	Kaki	Matt Spratt	u post me hhs from 25nl
9/8/2008	6:12:51 PM	Kaki	Matt Spratt	what am i supposed to say?
9/8/2008	6:13:06 PM	Kaki	Matt Spratt	oh no i spent that much on breakfast and it wasn't good, i can relate

So I've been blocked for the 1Xth time.. i must be 'pathetic'. If your life is so shit that you're on permatilt, use it to motivate yourself instead of wasting your time playing online pool for playchips and rewatching kiddiepron. imo. Anyway its 50/50 with friends, you win some, you lose some.

http://www.pokerhand.org/?3184633 - during my 1st shot at 400plo [x] biggest internet pot ever shipped my way

- insert a couple of days of games+anime+sex with this deaf phillipino girl i've just started seeing (she knows what dosbox is lol). I'll prob inc her in next update, and take some pics etc..cbf atm. I also drunk 30 beers over that period, fullmetal alchemist is a great show, only got 3/4 eps remaining nao.

Me running average at some 400plo:

http://www.pokerhand.org/?3184621 - i guess i got owned here, sick hold too..

http://www.pokerhand.org/?3184617 - pretty ill, i fake banked turn to insure the follow through from the blufffish

http://www.pokerhand.org/?3184618 - standard fail

Inspired the drunken shot at 1kplo....that lead to this hand i play so lolbad, good thing for spite though (that said i lost 3CL pots today, 1 on exacto bubble, and the other 2 ITM - i'd rather the 4.3k tho ;)

- I tried to slowroll him on turn, but you can't chat with AI players now on FTP, i did have time to call over the ppl at our place to watch the dodge though (even if it did tear them away from a $10sng). OMG then i gots my RB from last month. Roll at highpoint :)

Win.

edit: forgot to mention (ftm) been playing some Double Dragon II, and KungFu Master (which i used to play with Bonnie 10yrs ago), took some screenshts to remind you of the awesome:

flying kick into 3 enemies ina row for the max points :)

most ppl think that the hurricane kick midair is the nuts, but to any pro, its all about the flying knee.

Donkament Recap + a mem

2008-09-04T06:04:00.000-07:00

1stly, played some HU today because i'm game selecting alot more now for 200nlFR, best to play between midnight and 9am NZ time. flatted a draw twice to donkbets from a fish then shoved mah nizzles, next hand ahhsnap.

- I was just remembering this thing that Spratty, Chad and I did a few times when we were drunk at the cas...we'd pool $20 each and draw short straws for who got to play 2/3 (min buying), you had to play blind and wear cap + sunnys, and give speeches wherever possible. I also think we weren't allowed to fold (confirm/deny?) anyway 1st one ever chad wins the draw, sits in and accidentally looks at T4o, so we were ok with a muck after someone opened to $20 and it was flatted, board comes out 4KJ and KT gets it in with KJ, 4ball on the river ldo. Next hand (the idea, was to "ram&jam"), bunch of limpers, chad tanks, fake looks, starts chatting about the dead money, and ships in the stack in, gets called in 2 spots, board comes out AJ45Jr/similar old azn guy flips up the J8s ftw, other guy mucks AX, chad peels over a Q, then squeezes out the case J, lmao. we had some other GTs, including speeches that were hilarious at the time that i don't remember, and eventually the pit boss banned us from doing it, as ppl thought we were colluding, as the other 2 would be lolling on the rail, and we'd hitNrun the table if we doubled up+ and the next sub would head in. sooo lol.

made the FT of the 18k gt on FTP today, hit a 3outer for my stack on the river (always nice, incase you don't remember what its like to own a working luckbox), I destroyed 4 handed, and got into an epic HU match with a terrible fish who must have had 2/3 X the normal amount of fold buttons, he won 4/5 AIs (70/30s and flips), and i finally KO'd him to take down my first donkament in aaaages, and the only other one i've won online was some stars $5 pofs i think.

(click to enlarge)

[?] hottest woman ever

/semirant

2008-09-02T05:36:00.000-07:00

God ppl tilt me. i give too much credit to women that are more/less convinient for me to be with, if they have any kind of 'mental potential', regret decisions at a later date = totally std. The most annoying part is when it comes to the point where the relationship is 'over' and i have all the realisations i had dismissed earlier merge, and become way too apparent. Lucy, most recently, basically had no appreciation for the money+effort i put into her trip over here, and whilst here, was basically only concerned with her own enjoyment, i.e: i catered for both our interests, and she failed to show (have, rather) any respect for my wants. I guess people just have different ways of responding to arrogance, and as aware as i am of how people's tendancies shift in my presence, i can't help but be dissappointed in them after everything resolves. every fucking time. std response is "defence mechanism imo" get a fucking clue tard, stop trying to protect yourselves and actually bother understanding someone else's perspective, even if it means accepting they are smarter than you during the analysis. Its like the 'you fail at failing' pic, if you're all so pent up on self gain/growing, then extract from good sources, as opposed to enjoying your view of yourself. sigh, ppl.

- I should be going to the PNC @ Crown from 11th-20th, and will see my mum and sis, then probably take a week (hopefully) with Roo, mebbe in Adel (be good to see Spratty too - we had an online make up uc). Been lazy these 1st couple of days of September, only put in 4.5k hands so far, and am aiming for 5k/day ave... been good gym and foodwise tho, and shaping up to own Darryn in our $2/100g weightloss bet, mainly because he's lazy too :)

- Also bought some new headphones, they're of the hudge variety.
- Joanna, who's currently in Nelson (Sth Island), is supposed to come and stay with me for a wk or so soonish, but is lazy, and hasn't finalised anything yet...
- Bought my mummy a jade pendant for her upcoming B'day (11th), she'll like it and think i'm all grown up nao (because i generally suck about getting her presents when we aren't in the same city), flirted with the chick in the store kinda while purchasing, but it was became like 3 -1 employee to customer ratio towards the closing, so i passed. Returned 30mins later, and was semi-nervous, asked her if she what she was doing after store closes, she replied with "muah?" (impending fail ldo, see 1st paragraph), i was like "ya", she said she was going to meet a friend, so i smiled and exited slowly, she let out a "come again" after i turned my back (not in Apu's accent, mind you). So, [x] shotdown, but imo most likely scenario was that she's not single, and wouldn't mind bumping into me in a month or so... will update with developments [?] ldo

peece

Been A Long Time (Shoudn't Have Left You)

2008-07-13T17:02:00.000-07:00

FUMFerrz, i criff note nao.

- lol london, had funsies with my auntie again, then went to melbourne.

- grinded hands in melbourne, lolswongs r fun, saw darryn's status on facebook stating he was looking for roomies, roo had cancelled our malaysia plans (busto sucks rite?), so i accepted, and was to detour to adelaide for 10 days, catching up with some ppl from primary school + tell, kamilah, and the regs. Spratty broke up with me over msn conver, so that moveoutament was cancelled.

- Adelaide - [?] yay; met lucy west-sooby (from gilles st), we hooked up, she was quoteunquote: tehkewl

rite? had some funny chats with her (more develops), met up with chantal

[x] look like a fucking douche
[?] lollerskates

she's cool

saw kamilah

[..] she's cool too

roo

looks like we're staring at our children.

she's awesome for everything, we had shit times initially as she was sick and i hooked up with her roomie, + told one of her fish friends that she (ff) fails, more/less. Things got good, then they got sad towards the end

- broke even in melbourne pokerwise fwiw, put in like 5khands/day ave tho..

- turned 21 in adelaide, and am so awesome i went out to dinner (indian yo)with roo's family, cheers for paying gaiz :) Tim adn Zarinah are in Europe atm, and a couple of weeks away from staying with Kemal in Izmir for 1monthish; gl, gg, and vfnh.

- erm off to NZ then, good thing i paid infinite for my extra 20kg of luggage.

lolgeekaments

got shotdown by an 30yo that night as 'my mum clearly nitted the sweater for me'

for those of you who don't remember shaun.
[x] LMMFAOmaHAHAHAHAHA

- some pics of the place, i now have a sweet comp chair + decent speakers. We have a gym downstairs, and i was a good boy initially, after getting my BMI + weight done at a chemist today, i'm re-motivated + possible weightloss propbet with Daz, fwiw 93kg, and 25.8 BMI.

- ok, tyme for pokah nao, i have bills to pay uc (click to enlarge pics)

hello heater, and hello MGS4. god i played no fucking hands at all, ran retardo good tho, which helped - all 100nl FR.

- Lucy comes to NZ start of August, i pay for flights + most of the spending because i'm a 1337 balla ldo. Roo thinks i suck.

- she's pretty cool, but a vegan, so it didn't work out :(
nah, gts, hopefully we'll remain friends in the future. We went to a local island close to Auckland's coast for 3days, was pretty sick, even though it is winter. more photos on facebook.

- so that cut into my poker time a bit, i moved up to 200nl FR at the start of the month, and ended up adjusting my style completely, and really believe i have a massive edge V the regs at this level, basically i pot open utg-MP1, decide based on hand strength and guys behind in MP2, and minopen HJ-Btn, and 4b alot when IP to react to their terribad light 3bets to counter my infinite steals. The 4b'ing after i minopen is retardo good, because it forces them to make mistakes since only 17% (max) of our stacks are going in pre.

had some swongs, shaved head to combat the lifetilt.

prob will play 5k hands tomorrow to close out the month, and am aiming for 150khands in September.

Also FT'd a plo8ament simultaneously (these are basically my 1st FTs ever because i run like anus + sample size) and finished 3rd there for $735 + hit'n'ran a guy @ 400PLOHU for $300 after the 1st hand whilst wasted, lol fakeblockers to induce imo. Biggest day ever ~$5500

- ya so, sorry about being such a pants blogger, just had a tab open with like 2 paragraphs going into infy details, and really cbf'd, so i'll just drop cliffs+pics, and mebbe expand here and there from now on, but will try and update weekly.

- Just dl'd the Ninja Scroll series, and StreetFighter series is almost done too. NS is hawt so far, but then again so is hupoofling when you make pairs. did some of that few days ago for the lols.

Heading Home

2008-06-13T00:28:00.000-07:00

Wheee, finally going home, haven't played much poker recently due to lag issues (fu ftp), and I'll be stuck in Heathrow transit for 26hrs :(

- House MD is a good show ey, just finished season 4.

- waiting on a bunch of pics to be email'd to me from family members, so will post them up when they arrive.

imo

poker update

2008-05-30T16:24:00.000-07:00

Current plan is to rebuild on FTP until 09, then play approx 150k hands/month of stars 200NL+ to acheive SuperNovaElite by end of May. FR is robotic, kinda fun though... also feels nice to be able to generate decent samples quickly, and use it to make alterations..

- you make ~$2350 in RakeBack per 100k hands, and i've been running at 920hands/hr. so if i can put in 40hrs/wk for a total of 3 months i should make ~$11250 (RakeBack) + $9550-$66950 (which is 3ptBB loose from "true winrate") - so hopefully run good 1 time etc.. but it is hard to stay focused, these internets have many interesting things to read, and watch uc.

- Re: SNElite, I asked a guy on 2p2 - who had recently attempted to make 40k in a month at stars 200NL, how many FPPs he made for the amount of hands he played, and was pleasantly surprised to hear he made ~400k FPPs over 220k hands. For those of you who don't know, you need to make 1M FPPs/year to gain SNElite status, which scores you bonuses >>> RakeBack + 2 free 10k BI live donkaments packages (or 1 package + 10k cash) + WCOOP ME entry. The figures he gave me were based on SN status, so assuming it takes the 1st month to make SN, 4 additional months leaves plenty of time to make Elite, and be playing the WSOP ME free of charge by next July :)

http://www.pokerstars.com/vip/supernova/

http://www.pokerstars.com/vip/supernova/elite/

- you also make $28k in bonuses, and by the time you reach SNElite you will also have 600k FPPs remaining (equivalent value ~ 9k), + you will clear an average of 12.5k a month in 'rakeback' from the time SNElite is reached.

- I really hope that poker stays popular for as long as possible :P

Graffs: (click to enlarge)

stats:

gl to me. Trying to make some money to spend on trip to Malaysia with Roushan.

beepbeephoozAjeep? pt2

2008-05-27T16:11:00.000-07:00

So i've been multitabling full ring for the last 2 days and have played just over 12k hands. with the remains of a bottle of Bordeaux red that i'm not supposed to be drinking (save to finish with the gf uc), but im looking for motivation..at least i'm worth $88.64US/hr, but i guess that's contradictory. Gogogo anywayz.

So I was off To Turkey, but first stop was Singapore for 2weeks - my dad's current wife (they divorce and get into legal battle about 2 years after this trip) Norhayati was from Singapore, so we were hanging out with 'family' for a bit... I ended up chilling with kids and throwing those comet shaped pieces of paper that contain the explosive rocks near ppl from their balcony, i also spent $100 of Yati's cousins money (at his will, obv) on pirated games and a CD case to hold them all. Humidity was extreme (by my stds), but i liked the layout of the place, and they had this mad fruit which they called 'crispy mango' - basically a mango 4X normal size that is best before ripening, tastes like mango, sounds like apple. Nothing else much happened here, and we headed on to Ankara (Turkey's capital).

- Ella ad I had a long distance plan in action btw.

Ankara was currently the home of my father's youngest sister, her 2 children (daughter my age, son younger), and his mother (who died about 3 years ago). We did a bit of sightseeing (mainly for Yati), i smoked, and played a bunch of 'tavla' (backgammon) with my grandma an average of once a day while there, and spent a good 20hours revisiting Diablo (the computer game that uses a rng to make the levels, blizzard, 1996), which was a really sick game for its time. We were in Istanbul at some point after this, just for a few days doing some touristy stuff (blue Mosque etc..), but we also visited this cool underground reservoir, which they used for small concerts, and had the maddest echo of any place i've been (there are decks throughout the place to get around fwiw). Next was Ayvaluk for the wedding celebration of Sebnem and Markus (who i just got back from touring Holland with). Ayvaluk is on the Mediterranean coast, and the majority of our family was there (we were all booked into a sweet resort for a week/10 days, and got huge discount because my Uncle was head architect - he was recently released from jail after being used as a scapegoat from a corner cutting turkish construction company's building collapse, win some, lose some, fiftyfifty imo), the water was unbelievably clear, you could see fish swimming 20metres below you, fucking magical place. The resort had its own private beach, featuring a 80yo woman who sat there all day making

gozleme, you had options of meat, potato, or cheese. obv i chose combo of all. i ate 3/4 per day. delisch.

a few days into the stay ella wrote me an email listing reasons for why she wanted to break up with me, i was upset etc.. but during a swim in the pool a few hours later, i noticed 2 attractive women (i was 15 at the time, so i guess i saw gurlz), and they seemed to notice me. So with the newfound confidence from being e-dumped (nutlo has the same value as the hi uc, well if u gambol you know that motication comes from failure/neg emotions in gen. [less ye run gud]), i approached their beach chairs and initiated a conver which led to inviting them both to the day 1 (3/4 day party i think) of the celebrations. My memory re all the details are a bit fuzzy, but basically i showed my emotions about my ex dumping me alot (possibly cried) and hooked up with the more attractive one (fwiw. big score for me at this point of my life though), after throwing in a couple of ridiculously unbelievable macho stories (about how in teh Au we bracket tournament fight at parties and the hottest girl goes home with the winner), i was drunk, and according to them, i was 19 (they were 23). The girl i hooked up with that night suggested we goto a nearby area to drink and go on show rides, we did, she played piano and sung (she was a piano teacher, and had an amazing voice) - liiike: we go into bar, she starts doing a remake of popular turkish song, everyone is singing along and cheering. pretty lucky score to cure dumpaments imo. We then made our way back to the resort, and decided to sleep under the stars, pointed out one that would always be ours, told each other we loved each other, and had sex twice, and some gozleme after a shower. I told her i would come back to turkey for her, she later found out from my cousin (Melis' brother: cankut, pronounced jahn-khut) that i was 15, cried, and that was kinda the end of that.

We then headed to Izmir for a week or so, i remember singing "Touched" by Vast fro the roof of our hotel real loud (Yasemin - the girl i had just fallen in luv with, and I had made this 'our song' - btw i have songs with a bunch of peeps, cept roo, i guess i like that fact that its easy material to please them, but also reminiscing can be pretty choice), and sending a letter featuring trimmings of my hair attatched to ella, it never arrived, diaf turkpost.

I spent 2 months in Scotland after this, not really doing anything in particular, smoked hash with the kids of my mum's best friend from uni, and went on a 35k bike ride with their family on a hilly island. Had a perfect moment with my little sis as she was singing a self made piece in the exact middle of a soccer goal, she was at the climax, and i turned around and toebashed the ball right in the middle of her forehead, and she collapsed with arms spread - She thought it was hilarious fortunately, and i love her for that.

Before i knew it (not that i can remember other details atm), i was back in AU, climbing through ella's window, as she had not been answering my calls. I confronted her, and sort of forced us back together. She wasn't happy about it initially, but i think she realised she needed my character around, as she was at a point in between influence and self modification (our song was "some kind of love song" by Friendly, btw). I think we got back into the same kind of routine as before, and at some point we went on a holiday 145km from Adelaide where they make wine, and i think it starts with "W" - i remember it was 145km because her dad rode his bike there and back. we basically just argued and had sex during this trip, just emo swongs i guess. We also got some naked pics of me on a tennis court on a mini camera, and fucked in a pool. i got her off, i was proud, ship the pennies. oh yeah, this was also the first time i saw a girl pee squatting, chicks pee weird. We were back to smoking weed all the time, and i think i was hanging out with broneicki alot, but not cani. At some point i developed a mental detatchment from ella, and cheated on her with a fat chick (who broneicki tried and failed to hook up with, lol), i told her this after cumming on her face one day in early/mid 2003, walked out the door and didn't see her for 3 years or so, though she messaged me a few times (and called me drunk once) demanding her harry potter hard cover back. She seems like a cool person these days, and i'd definitely like to chat to her about what we've been doing for the last 5 years in detail. also her current boyfriend, of 4 years(ish) went to the same school as Roushan and I, but neither of us have any idea who he is...

I was currently going to USC (university senior college) in the Adleaide CBD - bascially a school for yr 11 & 12s that uses adelaide uni facilities to better prepare u for uni, and had made friends with a gal: Chantal, she was a babe, and afaiwc (as far as i was concerned) a tripper. we would meet up every morning and hang out, we smoked a bit of weed together, and organised a group which would drink and smoke every Friday + other convenient times. we chatted on the phone almost every night (it was mainly me calling her, but that's std with guy+girl right? heh :P), and i began to become more attracted to her. she drew me some cool dbz pictures, and did a few copies of my eyes (which i was into alot at the time), we listened to 'silence' by delerium alot ('our song') and were the only 2 people i knew that knew all of the lyrics (shipship).
We went to the Royal show one night, and split a trip of acid, it was pretty killer, i remember running around wearing a dbz beanie with broneicki and banging my head on that crazy ride where u strap into those pods and get flipped around a bunch. Apparently you got $50 for being able to make it to the middle of the gravitron while it was moving, fail, bro and i both made it, though i don't remember the order in which we did (so i guess i lost, lol selectivememoryaments). we capped off the night by heading back to chantal's house (just the two of us) to play some hackey and watch the 2 dbz VHSs (they said the same thang about BETA amirite?), which featured some whack whistling song where gohan shakes his ass a bunch. Anyway, things with chantal (aka tell, and chantypants) were tops, until one day when we met up in the morning apu, and i had a dream (feat her) that i wanted to tell her about to get a reaction, coincidentally she also had something she wanted to put out there, so we decided to rps (jan ken ho, aka rockpaperscissors) boot (best out of three) and loser told first. obviously i soul crushed her 2-0 (straight games i think), and she proceeded to tell me how we were standing in an all white room (similar to the matrix loading room), staring at each other, then we kissed. OMMFG i had the exact same dreem dood, fo reelz plz berrive me etc.. i don't think she did, but since i'm living my own life its nice to know that people do connect on a 2nd level which transcends availiable logic. after that i told her i loved her (on the phone few days later i think), she wasn't down, the friendship worsened obv, and i really have nfi how we stopped hanging out, but i'd really love to catchup with her and find out wtf happened (i hate my memory sometimes).
i always tell the story like: if the flip went the other way we'd have been in love etc.. hard not to be with those compelling odds imo, but i doubt she'd share that pov. good thing though, because the next girl i'd meet was actually smart, not just a tryhard with a slammin body and a cute face - lol fact: we were talking one day (chantypants and I), and isaid something like: "I actually think you have the potential to be as smart as me" (not that i believed it though, mebbe for the first second..), and she was like "wow, really", lmfao, how can people be that pathetic, especially the one's who prioritise themselves when it comes to taking steps.

RMW (she might trouble you - Roushan M Walsh) we met in politics class during the 2nd half of the 2nd semester, after our teacher decided that Jo Ro and I shouldn't sit together (he was probably jealous because i annoyed him with my awesumma powaz, and jo is a cutie, but w/e), i told her i liked her calves alot, i don't really think she liked me touching them in class, but for some reason i thought that was a D play. We started to chat on phone everynight, and hang out most days. I first met her best friends: Gemma (who was a childhood friend of mine, but i didn't know of the connection until i met her - apparently she had a crush on me when we were just teens, parse dat shuga), Ella (aka Eal - pronounced y'all), and Mini (aka Misty/Mist) in the botanic gardens (i think it was all of them anyway), dunno what they thought of me initially, i had long straight hair at this point, wore it in a pony ;) with there powerz combined they were GERM, and had the shirts to prove it, they had been a group of friends since they were 2 years old/younger for some.
Roo and I got settled pretty fast, and were together as an 'item' (as she liked to call it...not - [X] party time, its excellent)as of early November. Our first actual date wasn't until the following year where we went to a restraunt that doubled as a club (before it was taken down), mainly because i had been running and went in there for water, and this massive african dude - who was the spitting image of the big black guy (who isn't actually that tall irl) from Green Mile, insisted on shipping me 2nds. I think she ordered pineapple chick pasta, and i got ravbol (ravioli bolognaise), the rav was enormous like 8cm l&w, and pretty fgood. they had a pinball machine/skill tester in the restraunt, and i inserted like $10 of gold, the owner (green mile guy) used at least half my cred, motherfucker.
I was doing terribly at school, and roo was a hard worker, so i was bad for her, and she was good for me. i was kickbanned from USC before the exam period commenced (yr 11 still), and i got terribad grades, but enough to pass. I moved to a similar school (Eynesbury) next year, it was also in the CBD conviniently. I had been smoking no weed pretty much, as Roo was against it, and my friendship with broniecki was dwindling (some people don't change etc..), but it didn't end before we both started playing a tcg (trading card game) called Yu-Gi-Oh.

This game quickly became more of a priority to me than my schoolwork, and i would procrastinate like a pro thinking about ideas re: the game, and never did any work, so i decided to drop to subject which i'd complete the following year (obv), as Roo was also moving 1 subject to the year after, as she had so many commitments with Soccer training every 2nd night, working at various restraunts, and the current workload, not to mention staying with a lazy pos like me 5 nights/wk.
So yu-gi-oh soon took me to Sydney to compete in the national tournament, i went with some friends, namely Chad (who is entering the story permanently from this point, and is aka chaddles), and including Fazli, who introducted us to "Sunny" by the Boogie Pimps on this trip (and it reminds me of it still), and omfg a disabled guy (mental) named Ashley.

i stayed at one of the central YHAs and Chad got one for like 1/2 the price on KingsCross (the hooker street), so before the event we thought it would be funny to drag this lonely guy Ashley along with us to Chad's hostel to have some beers, we bought a carton, and were extremely drunk, practicing card games with a guy who had never had a beer in his life, and had severe blinking problems, we decided to grab some food at some point from the McDonalds across the street, while standing in line Ashley started saying ridiculous things about this card games to complete strangers, and was blinking profusely at them, Chad and I could not stop laughing. we sent him home in a cab shortly after, as the tournament was the following morning. Chad did terrible, Fazli made the playoffs (top 8), i came 11th on resistance :( a good trip.

After I returned i was goaded by some people from yu-gi-oh to start this new game called VSsystem, which featured all of the famous Marvel and DC comic characters. The store owner is a legend called Lee Copus, he reminds me of Perry Cox (scrubs - btw Roo thinks scrubs is weak, who the fuck thinks that? also she likes shitty BBC comedys, although stareouts on "Big Train" are the nizzles), or rather Perry reminds me of him.

- So at this point tcgs are occupying most of my time, and Roo would me shit every Sunday when i would go to play tcgs with friends.

NEways this VS game had a prize pool for various tournaments, and the circuit came to Australia a bunch, and they also had regional qualifiers, where 1st place would receive $500 US (which was actually worth something at the time; 1) exchange rates 2) 500 being significant, lawlz) anyway Chad and I got into this game pretty hardcore, and i decided to sell my yu-gi-oh cards and netted about $450 for them (i had probably invested 1k or so), i decided to buy Roushan's mum a handbag for like $140/150 and it reduced her to tears, as "Koray has used his card money for me, ooh" etc.. a nice feeling.

- Roo bought me a bonzai for our 1st Xmas i didn't take enough care of it and it died about 1.5yrs later, i bought her 2X Lord of teh Rings posters, she left them under her bed, winwin imo :|

- I changed my name to Kakarot Koray Kenan Turker around my 17th birthday, and am still known by that name by a bunch of peeps. I changed it back a year or so ago, lol regretaments, at least I didn't get a tattoo :P

- Roo dreaded our hair, it was good initially :)

VS had these tournaments running in AU/NZ called tenkays (10k prize pool) top 20 paid. I decided to travel to one in Melbourne, where i was interviewed by the guy doing the coverage http://metagame.com/vs.aspx?tabid=46&ArticleId=964

here is the pic of me then anyway , lol

i made a big mistake in the 2nd last round then lost the last round, i needed both wins to make the top 8 (the top 8 playoff the next day), oh wellz Roo felt my pain, thanks for that.

the next 10k was Brisbane, i headed up to take another shot at teh fame and riches the tcg world had to offer (btw listening to "Poison" by Bel Biv Devoe atm; its driving me out of my mind, that's why its hard for me to find.....) this is where i met Shaun Hayward..

lol

We were dissing him heaps because he was a noob, but he was luckboxing this tournament, and he completely 'mised' me (came from might's well, but means got lucky when he needed to). it resulted in this thread: http://vsparadise.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=2142&hl=invent+that+time

anyway it was geek war etc.. flame on!

- fwiw Shaun went on to win this tournament, wanker.. i still made $300/400US for my placing.

next 10k was in Brisbane, obviously i'm not going to bore you all with the details, but ill leave links for myself i guess..http://metagame.com/vs.aspx?tabid=62&EventId=69

- no pics of me here, but i made another $300/400 shipship.

- Next was 10k sydney, i had a really good strategy for this particular tournament and had been playing more than ever, i finished 2nd after chopping in the Finals, to we split the 4kUS.
pics:

- 10k Brisbane was next, and Shaun and I chatted a bit, and i apologised for being a tool, i think we even had a beer or someshit.

- Roushan and i had shaved our hair (i did mine first, then shaved hers from behind so she couldn't go back on)

lol CAPS

i made the top 8 in this tournament for $500US, i was becoming pretty well known and respected in the tcg world, well for this game anyway, its hilarious being in these communities srsly, its like rl = internet, ducy? Alexander Antonius won this tournament btw - relevant later mebz (haven't decided, its 5:30am, and i plan on playing 8hrs of poker tomorrow @ 1 decision per 2seconds)

The next 10k was in Adelaide conviniently, and after some discussions online, I had become part of Shaun, Enchante Chang, Darryn Ying, and Nick Smith's tcg team: "TFH" the four horsmen, well there was five, but i had a shirt and a jumper, beat'em/join'em obv.
And another top 8 for me, 3 in a row, the current record (well, equal to it), some pics:

finished 3rd/4th for 1kUS here.

the next 10k was back in Melbourne, and after some long discussions with teammates, we had decided on a good plan for this tournament, and it resulted in both Darryn and I making the top 8, and meeting in the finals, with Shaun and Enchante both earning $400 each, Nick unfortunately didn't cash, but Darryn and i brought 4k back between us, so it paid for the flights and shit (since they are all from NZ, although Nick had moved to Perth for completion of Thesis).

pics:

shaun, darryn, nick, me, enchante

we're posing as a card (left), funsies.

- I decided to take a shot at the PC (pro circuit), where first prize was $50k, but it was LA, so i had to fork out. we went with a terrible stragedy, but we had a great time featuring listening to pan pipes while recovering from a huge night in Hollwood nightclubs, with some mexican food.
James White, another NZ'er great player, and tournament organiser came back to our hotel Vdissapointed with the lack of love people had for going out to hollywood that night with him, i also declined because i was miserable from making no money in the tournament, and planned on playing the 10k sideevent the following morning, he told me he'd pay for everything, lol lets go.
$110 cab ride later we arrive outside a huge club with an enormous queue, we didn't come this way for nothing... a guy approaches us and says $50 to get to the front of the line, we decide to gambol (James' money though) and he basically just drags us past everyone in the VIP line, shakes hands with the security guard and bails. sick we're in! wait wot? $50 each entry, oic..tough break James :P anyway alcholhol wasn't served until 6am so we danced for 2hrs chatted a bit then drunk some beers etc.. $8each +$2 tip (manditory if u want more service). After leaving we saw the Hollywood letters, and got the wrong train costing us about 2hrs, but we finally made it back to Annaheim. Cool trip, we also had lengthy discussions about a new strategy for the upcoming Sydney 10k.

ship the gold. I won this one, i think the others did ok, maybe cashed for $1k tot.

the final game was perfectperfect too, it wasn't a great
matchup for me, but people always make mistakes against me due to feeling like they are under pressure, because hey, i was voted number one player in Australia, and i do have the highest ranking :P

- Shortly after this Australia was having its own PC, in Sydney (after this funding was basically cut for VS, because the people in management are complete morons), but it was a 300k prizepool, the biggest they'd ever given out, and the top 72 were gt'd 1kUS pretty juicy for locals.
anyway cliffs: we took home about 30k totals i finished 2Xth darryn finished 9th (bad luck) shaun made the top 8 and split with another NZ friend Johnathen Luey (shock bro).

I'm Tiey, probably a week or so until i finish this, i'll dodge the geek stuff though :P

also i'll edit the top of the 1st part, to include a 'key' for the acronymes.

till next time.
edit: will add the two trips with Roo to Pt elliot, and Horseshoe Bay next pt (too tired now)

Computer Kaput IMO

2008-05-12T14:09:00.000-07:00

so didn't have a computer for 2wks(ish), went to Amsterdam for 3 nights.

Best Place I Have Ever Been. not close.

i'd prefer to keep this short although so i can get back to writing that other shit.

cliffs:
saw many sites
got stoned alot - played maths games with Sebnem (cousin) and Markus (husband of Sebnem)'s daughter, and had organisational competitions with Markus (Germans's are hilarious re: rule following, and time optimisation)
went to most crowded beach i have ever been to, took about 1.5hrs to drive 15km
took in the culture & scenery
went on boat cruise (so touristy, but being stoned and seeing asians taking photos is globablly considered a hilarity, probs)
drove through mad area with sweet houses and prime location, definitely want to buy something there before im 30.

- also, just spend a good 40mins reading Tanseli's blog updates, cannot remember much.

- Totally plan on dragging Roo to Amsterdam for a Summer, and just biking around for a month or so.

shipship

Past to Present (Pt1) tl;dr

2008-04-22T15:02:00.000-07:00

So im here with a bottle of baileys, listening to "In Da Club" by 50cent (which seems like total upswing music btw), and i googled my name, or rather; old name "Kakarot Turker" to have a suss of my tcg (trading card game) records.

Basically my life went like this:

young old child got a bit spoilt, started school at gilles st primary (i went to Norwood Primary for the first half of reception, but then my mum moved to the city) and due to a math game fake laptop that my dad bought for me (at least ftr) i was adept in the field, and since gilles st was a public school without too many students they had combination classes, so in year 1 i was in the year 1/2 class, for year 2 i was in 2/3, 3, 3/4, and 4, 4/5/6. Throughout these years i was always in the same class as Arcadio (its a name, not a typo), whose family were refugees from Chile, and he also lived 2 houses from me. My 1st best friend, though Eric (same age son of my mother's best friend) was to swap that roll with him during that time and in the next 5ish years after it.

I was complaining about how shit my teacher for year 4 was, and after a discussion between my parents, it was decided that i would be enrolled in a private school at the start of yr5 ( i remember crying on my bunk bed when Kemal (my dad) told me the news. It was too late to apply for scholarships at this point, so they forked, and i had to get a haircut for the first time in 4 years (my hair was naturally blonde at the time ftr, and i looked like a girl), and in an attempt to comprimise i got some rediculous bowl cut, and looked more girly than ever - when we went to buy my school uniform the old bitch tried to ship me a dress, i cut it properly the following day.

The School was St Andrews (in Walkerville), and i was def like the only busto person there. At this stage of my life i liked the idea of being popular, and since i was the tallest in my year, i played teh sports, and made teh jokes in class, and made a bunch of 'friends' (who im pretty sure didn't really like me too much, but i was kinda loud and proud, and way smarter than them, so i was just part of the norm i guess). It soon became apparent to the teachers that i was a maths "whizz", and by the end of year 5, they had me doing the basic yr 8 curriculum, which moved ot yr 9, and into basic trigonometry by year 7. During year 5, i developed a crush on the school captain: Angelique Capizzi, who was kinda butch, but definitely hot - i remember this day when i had been kicked out of class - by the same teacher who would later throw my, and my friend (who decided we could fix pens part time for 5c a pop - he is now a software millionare btw, lol @ std stories, the guy's still smoking cones and living with his parents afaik)'s desks over the balcony, and (sry 4detour) she walked past me (i had head facing the ground i think, shyaments), and a bunch of yr7s started chanting "Angie's goddacrush on Kory, Angie's goddacrush on Kory".

I emailed her a few times about 1yr ago, and she finished some degree and was travelling to Italy (i think she's half asian, half italian, and may be the reason i find alot of half asian mixes Vhot, see Chantal, Roo, Imee, and Kamilah) with her boyfriend of a few years, for a bunch of months. OMG! we also had this tripped day like 2 years later, where our parents knew some pide (turkish bread) maker in the Adelaide Hills, and were both randomly invited to the same cathup (consisting of just our two families), we went off and sat in a bunch of trees together, but i don't remember how well i performed, or what was said. She's definitely on my list of people to meet up with again.

So yr 6; I started skateboarding, was playing hockey and remember showing terribley softcore pron to my lax teacher (who was some recently married dude). I believe i also made friends with James Cannon (better known as Cani - pronounced canny ftr (am quite tired)), who i would later smoke my 1st cones with, and would take arcadio (i started a nickname for him which stuck throughout primary school: "poos", unlucky imo) and eric's place as best friend.

Yr7; This was a pretty big year for me, i was a "Maths Advisor" and an "English Advisor" - we were given badges to wear on our blazers, fcking prissy bs, school systems are total garbage, my kid is going to own the solez of all these std retards (home schooling ftw?), and was totally into teh gurlz (unfortunately they weren't too taken by me, but i had some moments with what probably turned out to be 'camwhores')

figured this life story was worthless without pics

anyway i got asked out by the only person in school who was taller than me, and rejected, because it was cooler to do so, + id obv be busting my roll every week on candy bars, and didn't want to pay 2X - refilling ur playchips live takes 1 wk uc. My hockey team was sweet though, i was the best player ,but two attractive women; Jessica Shakes, and Lucy Dempster (i bet she never lets guys cum inside her), were tying for 2nd, and it was nice to hangout with them twice a wk (i think i masturbated thinking about them a bunch, lol at this point in my life im pretty sure i was shooting blanks ftr).

Jess: played piano like me, and i remember getting really embarresed because she was one of the crowd who witnessed me butcher a performance of Axel F. I met up with her 1 or 2 times (and the girl i rejected; Amy Zeizing - who turned out to get quite damn hot, and was a model last time i checked, they were best friends) for coffee or whatever, and it was nice to hear about what she is doing with her life. She's one of the ppl that could have become really smart, but still has respectable characteristics (honesty, purity, etc..). Pretty sure she's a christian.

Lucy: used to get dissed for having no tits in year 7, but she was a tough girl. Kids are fucking mean. I remember her calling me fat, and busting a sweet kamikaze "at least i've got tits". I saw her sometime 2ish yrs ago at some event @ (sometimes illiteration is painful, amirite?) adelaide uni, and remember thinking she seems quite well presented, but i wasn't single at the time. Would like to catchup with her too tho.

I also played IceHockey at this point in my life, and was quite D, but after discovering i had a swollen spleen due to harbouring glandular for a year (and never noticing), so i sorta instaquit and didn't return, though we did make it deep in the national comp, but i failed terribly missing like 6 decent goal ops, when we lost 1-0 to Vic.

Highschool: i did a scholarship test, and received no results, could not fucking believe it, i mean, I'm infy smarter than all these turds (at least at maths), and i totally failed, so sick, amirite? wong, turns out they lost my paper somewhere, and on review i got some late offers to a bunch of D schools, but i selected Westminster, as my dad wanted me spending more time with him, as the majority of my time had been spent with Jenny (mum2sum) for travel convinience.

I liked the school grounds, and was taking german class (totally regret not taking jap, but at least i can communicate with people better in this country i guess), there was a guy in my class who seemed to kinda stay out of the way a bit, but always gave me looks like i was a pos loud turd who was looking for attention, all true unfortunately, but we were paired for an activity together and ended up sharing a good lol, he backstepped from his first impression, and we have been friends since. Duncan lloyd ftr.

I started smoking cones with Cani at some point in the year, story: he smoked cigarettes, i had rejected my 1st smoke in yr7 (fuck peer pressure, what wud mummy fink?), but he got me into menthols, and we used to climb onto my mum's roof then hop onto the roof of a warehouse/office next door (the 'roof' ftr) and chainsmoke, GTs. Anyway my pofs stepdad (both my parents had a 2nd marriage, and a 2nd divorce - Kemal's was with a 14yr younger muslim (malay), i later found out she was also a virgin going in (lol limpers)), would dry his weed by one of those plug-in heaters, and I, thinking it was tobacco, stole some and kept it in a matchbox for a week. My mum was out one day (until late), and Cani + my competition for his best friendship (weird context eh, where's a green underline from word to tilt u when u need it), aka Tobias Toft (Toft) - who is probably in jail for 5-10 by now, and had no fear of anything, but still a drugfucked nobody, came over to smoke said tobacco in rolly form. He thought it was weed, and i convinced him otherwise (i was, and am, good at knowing when people aren't 100%, and exploit regardless of opinion, tho at this point in my life it was basically for image, wheras now i just like to pwn for funsies), so we had a joint of leaf each, and were sitting in my lounge with Cani's video camera just slowly realising something was 'different' when the phone rang...

no..it was my mum calling to see how we were doing, unfortunately for me there was a mirror on the stand where the phone sat, and all i remember is staring into one of my eyes for at elast 10 seconds solid, before hearing "Koray, Koray, are you there??", then i realised it must have been weed, instareplied, "sorry mum, i don't feel well" and dropped the phone. I came back into the lounge, and as i attempted to tell my first 'omg u gaiz will nevaar bereev how trippd out dis sheet iz', i was mentally blocked by toft filming cani emulating an asian grocery salesman with a square piece of paper on his front teeth so they looked super buck.

this was the start of us smoking cones, we discovered bongs a whole day later, and made some mad vids, from pathetic horror movies, to embarrassing my sister, then to making bombs in my back yard (we used sparkler dust in a tin/glass jar (lol) with a big aresol can or w/e), we ended up making 15 or so bombs total, some weren't great, but the thrill always was, erik would sometimes join us, but he never wanted to smoke cones, and a year or 2 later, i broke our friendship when i came to his house with cani and 2 chicks, and one of them broke his grandfather's chair, and we instasatout (we have recently become in touch with each other, and he is definitely one good looking virgin (95%), i totally owe the guy a hookup). Cani got hit by shrapnel twice, and toft stole and sold his camera one day so we lost all of the footage, fcking degens.

Back to school: I was put in Fricker house, Spratt was also in the same house, but was 3 years above me, and neither of us noticed each others existances, and eventually made friends with Matt Broniecki, who i had never liked, but was alone in the meeting room in the morning, and i got the early train, so i threw out a line with "did uc dbz (Dragon Ball Z) this morning?", he snapshoved, and i had him covered like 10-1 and 2nd nizzles, ,it was argueabley a chop as to who liked 'Z' more, but hey i changed my name to Kakarot, so ship the pennies rite? anyway we moved conver onto FF (Final Fantasy, for the losers reading this who don't appreciate teh rpgs). So i doubled up on best friends pretty fast, unfortunately i was the only one in my circle of cone smokers who could put up with Matt's terribad obnoxious attitude (seriously its like a dog bragging to you because you gave it its food), at one point Arcadio and Cani stole his mobile phone while he was sleeping, lol. His house was mad good, and his parents dissapproved of him being friends with me because i was a busto kid (thought they'd never admit that to themselves), they are probably quite interesting ppl (for yuppies), as they had another child when Matt was 17, as his older brother died speeding over one of the city connecting bridges (mind blank), when he entered an oncoming lane, matt was 13 at the time i believe, and his brother was 16. Cliffs on Matt Broniecki, his lucky number was 18 bcoz u ca du all dat cool shit when ur 18! if he's wrong in conver it comes down to "nah man, ur just wrong, accept it" then eventually "you're wrong coz im right", i seriously can't believe it took me so long to totally accept that he was just another moron, i guess the similar interests held it together for the majority, and people are generally desperate for understanding, and at this time i hadn't assessed my character enough to overcome such a yawnfest of routine.

My 1st Girlfriend!!!1: me and bro (Matt Broniecki) were walking to the servo near my mum's house for some supashakes (made by cadbury, we seriously were stoned every opportunity we had, ate at Australian pizza house and had supashakes everyday, always argueing about which one was the best), when we were approached by 2 pretty average looking chicks - we both probably masturbated 4-8 times on average a day (combined), i believe the saying is "any hole's a goal", we went back to the house of Maddy who lived close to me (this is in the SE side of town), we never fooled around with them, but smoked cones and laughed so hard at how little they could handle, it was nice to hand out with girls for a change though. NEwayz, they invited us to a 'party' a week later, turned out to be this girl Ella Strong's house, as her parents were away for the weekend, the list consisted of her, some guy who looked disabled when he danced, 2 greek dudes, us, the average chicks, and Ella's best frined. We drunk there girl drinks abit, and smoked a bunch of bongs, the wogs left earlyish, adn at some point Ella told us, after a bong, that the guy dancing in there was telling her he had taken dance lessons (obv they increase his confidence though), we couldn't stop laughing for at least a minute (i love those moments). Anyway people crashed or whatever, and bro called Ella's tits piklets (those mini pancakes) to her face, but she still hooked up with him at a party the next night. She also hooked up with me later that night, and i was kinda instainlove (i guess i thought it rated to be the best play, + he prospect of sex to a 13 year old is so 'killer'). Anyway i wanted her to be my girlfriend, but she hooked up with bro again on arcadio's proch for like 6 hours while we went to these gay guy's house to smoke and drink apu (as per usual).

Well we did get together at some point, and it was 'love' (hard to dodge sounding std here, so im trying this, fingers crossed ;) or w/e, we stayed together until i got dropped from Westminster towards the end of the 3rd term of year 9. Sad times. BTW i can remember so much atm, but i am know realising this is going to be soooo long if i try, so i'll just be inserting cliffs if i think of stuff :).

Almost got beated up once when i got the tough guy (who i was friends with) Chad Something's girlfriend to leave him for me, and they jumped me at a hackey sack game and threatened me and shit, i remember feeling scared for one of the first times, but its weird because i really have so much rage to give, i think next time someone has the lead in one of those spots with me i need to stop, breathe, then click it back with some shouting, i seriously have unbelieavable strength and willpower when i am in that mind set.

Me and Dunx played hackey pretty much every recess and lunch at Westminster, and he taught me all the basics, just a shout out, i really like that guy, and hope to see him when i get home.

I got 100% on all math's tests in year 9, but the old bitch teacher gave me a 98% U (U is the attitude grade; unnacceptable in this case (nutlo)), and told me she dropped 2% because of my attitude, nhwp imo. The asian geeks were all like Whoa dis Koray guy so smawt, i was a turd though, i sat in class in the front row reading a book (i hate books (plan on getting through a bunch after this trip though), just incase you've given me one as a present, yes i said i'd read it, sorry i still haven't), and cracking my knuckles just to tilt the teacher.

in Year 7 a guy walked in on me when i was about to shower after getting out of the sea, i swear to god it was actually cold ;P so yeah, unfortunately my cock was as small as it could possibly be, and i got lol'd at a bit. This probably led to me being a bit obsessed with my cock size in relationships, although with good measure, because women are so oft (its deutch fags, ´similar meaning to often, except it fits in this context) unaware of the reasons they make or break possible relationships in the early stages (this isn't relevant to myself, outside of Kamilah, as i believe if i had a 14inch armthick cock she'd want me for bragging rights to friends, because she is honestly that pathetic (yet i still find her hot, because she was amazing in bed i guess), unfortunately for me i know how people act in spots much more than they do, but i guess that should be the test of character that determines whether or not i should be wasting time with them. i.e: (and also back to the example i was about to use), roushan is currently dating a new guy who is apparently chilled, but she's also fresh out of a relationship, and enjoys the freedom of single life, so he kinda needs to step perfectly, and i was telling her how he's obv super ave in bed tops, otherwise she'd be in instalove again because that's how we roll (sucha sick flaw to give benefit otd to these randoms though, but t does release some killer endorphines), and she was cool enough to agree that its a pathetic feature of women (which make me certainly feel like its a hard bridge for me to overcome, but showering with all these naked germans at the gym everyday has helped me give less of a shit i guess) FTR my cock is fine, 8inches, and reasonably thick, i'm just tilted by the fact that its something i can't change that affects the perceptions of some people i deal with, so it eats at me when other dudes have the spot for 'biggest cock' taken in women im fucking's lives, but w/e life wasn't meant to be easy for me, look how i run in poker (fine thx, below equity, sure, but im still grateful its how i make money).

Anywayz parents obviously dissapointed with me about the school sitch, but maintained an optimistic front, my dad enrolled me for phone school, lmfao i just got ella to skip school 50% of days and we would just fuck and smoke cones most of the day (our parents were ok with us staying at each other's houses basiacally every night). So Kemal had organised a trip to Turkey with me aroudn June of the year i was supposed to be in year 10, but i was dropped from the phone school, as i never handed anything in. It was throughout these 6+months that Cani, bro, and to a lesser extent, ella, smoked weed ate at australian pizza house, and drunk supashakes every single day (well honesly it was at least 12 days a fortnight), i have no idea how we got the money everyday, because we were smoking most of the cones we sold, but i guess other randoms did shout us a bunch of sessions here and there.

Weed smoking has nothing to do with being stoned when you're a little turd btw, its all about sinking bongs, and packing phat cones, and dissing the shit out of anyone who fails. Bro and I used to test Cani's bragging all the time, he'd collapse froma bong, and we'd prepare a retardedly phat cone, totally compressed, then offer him another, he'd have to say yeah, then would be astounded as it took him 3 shots to sink it, you do "cough to get off" tho.

So Ella and I were about 1 year into our relationship, when i was heading to turkey/germany for about 3months. I hope that's a good halfway point, though this may be a 3pt entry.

STD

2008-04-09T06:06:00.000-07:00

got deep in 50k gt on stars last night then did this:

http://www.pokerhand.org/?2407723 - which isn't too bad imo, but i guess i should fold because table was weak and i still had a bit over ave stack

http://www.pokerhand.org/?2407725 - meh

- Inanc was sweating me for a while we were 3rd in chips in the midstages, then ran JJ into KJs for like half our stack v his 4bet and lost, then just avoided showdown until that AJ hand.

anyway sweet time to go play live again, time to get revenge on teh phishez at 1 and 2 unlimited holdthem. we get directions as we're driving and wind up at a Turkish cafe with a bunch of the same degens as the other night, they thought we were police initially because inanc had a big black diary thing that looks like a ticket book with him, and i'm a wigger. Anyway seat waiting for me time 2 cleen up, except now i find out that its 5/10, and i only have €400 with me, vom...so i sit with 400 and plan on set mining i guess, these morans limp anyway amirite???

WONG
1st hand at table 1 limper fat dude opens to €150 and gets called in 2 spots (he's like 1.5k deep, and dude to my immediate right covers).

Flop: TT6r, check, check, check (fat guy is otb)

Turn: Jx (rainbow completed), check, check, fat guy bets €100, calls, c/r to €800 from guy to my right, fat guy calls other folds with €200 behind.

River: 3y, guy shoves for last €175 fatty calls, AT gud, fatty mucks, adds 1K and doesn't even notice.

GREAT so now i need to wake up..

i win a limped pot at some point from the SB with 22 when everyone (7 runners) check all streets on AA3TA board, so i have €470 when the hand starts.

fatty opens to €100 utg guy calls with €25 behind, i wake up with JhJx aka teh stone nizzles and ship it in, fatty splashes a few €50 chips out and other guy puts in his €25, gives me a fist 5 for some reason, says (now i've got him (me) in Turkish to my cousin - who looks way more badass than these gangsters fwiw) and tables tha KxKy (aka pokit Konig), fatty has Th8h Hold for the side 1 motherfucking time amirite?
(at this point the rest of the cafe pours into the backroom to see the Americano nit AIPF, obv they are all rooting for T8s, i would to so w/e)

Flop 2h4x9y can i getta brick plz

Turn Jx, sendit u fist five'ing retard

River......for those of you who don't know me so well; i run shit, i struggle to win 80/20s Vs 80/20s and i usually get hit'n'run for a few BI a day HU.

7h....are you fucking serious, honest to mother fucking god, can i ever run ok jesus fucking christ...

GG

oh btw river was Ax and the pot started shipping in the right direction. On a lol sidenote, i was so concerned about the dude's oesd i didn't actually notice i know win the €375 in the main with a set, lol surpriseaments ;)

anyway fatty brings another few hundred onto the table and we're off again, this time he opens to €50 in MP folds to me in BB, lol i has teh black AA 3bet to €175 only, because he has a tendancy to spew postflop (well obviously, he's a rediculous fish) and i don#t want him folding his pos here, we're like €950ish deep.

Flop Tc3c3s, omg gin cannot possibly lose, so i decide to check and let him bluff me of AK/AQ, he doesn't oblige, oops.

Turn Jc, harro surrr, he's shoving any J and any decent club now over a bet, and at least calling with anygutshot, so i bet €200 he says blahblah Americano, and ships it in (some of them thought i was American, but guy to my right kept giving me props on Being Turkish and living in Australia...fwiw), i snapcall and table after he shows JdQc, lol i gin well.

River: this isn't even funny Qs, how bad do i fucking run seriously (as far as he is concerned anway), he's hi fiving friends and shit, while i sit lolling mentally then point out that i have Aces Up, and he insta quits. Ship €1875 biggest pot lifetime, i wonder how much they rake btw, OMFG that fucker it raking €70 WTMFisthisFS!?!? i tip the obligatory €5 and feel kindof tilted, but the feeling of being able to blog that dream spot lights me up, so i have a smoke and nit it up for an orbit, chatting to my cuz. Then i look down at black KK utg+1 and iso the guy to my right's limp to €50 (he's not shit enough to call much more preflop, and he covers), Sb calls and its 3 ways.

Flop: 9s8s8d, check, dude to my right leads €50, i flat for pc, and SB c/r to a stack of blues aka €450 and has another €400ish behind, anyway this guy is kinda the nit, but he probably does raise with draws etc.. and i have Ks..but while i'm tanking and sussing the guy a bit, dude behind me says to him that i have pokit Konig in german, i look back at him and he smiles, then i turn back to the guy and he's insta looking weak, lol fake tells, so i muck it, he gets some mad respektz from da boiz by showing his 8d (lol at all the 1 card showdows live). but before the dealer mucks them, dude to my right and some other are like u really had dem pokit konigs, i shrug, and dealer runs the turn and river for funsies, Kd on river vom, i guess i was supposed to ship it in and run gud 1tyme blahblahblah. that said if i won anymore we'd probably be in a bad spots, although they seemed to like Inanc, so i dunno, dodgy though.

Anyway next hand in BB 5 limps and i check KhTh, flop of Qx9h8h, dude to my right donks €100 i flat (anything else is obviously retarded) turn Ax, another €100, river bricks, he bets €150 i muck and show (so they know i'm gambling etc..) he shows QTo GROSS, lemme gin him for 1.6k ffs (can't complain too much though) and i rack up €1475 later, the guy who cashes out takes €25 tip as standard, cheers, so i end up paying about €150 in rake for the night, how fuckign gross eh?

anyways i grab soem sav blanc from a servo on the way home (btw their servo's stock moet & chandon just on the shelves, lol, but i guess we have more potato chips so its breakeven ;P. Inanc decides to buy some flights to Turkey for his wife's birthday tomorrow, then makes the decision about whether its worth crashing or not (was 4:30am at the time and he had to be up at 8:30). This line def took me by surprise, because he's a responsible hardworking father of 2, so anyway he votes yes, we get into the win i run him through a bunch of my itunes list, and we play some low stakes online donkaments and i let him pilot, and just lol at all the limp calling.

http://www.pokerhand.org/?2406623 - pwned imo, this was also to only time he did this.

- so I#m off to gym now, and gonna buy Ummi (Inanc's wife) something for her B'day tomoz, btw €200 notes are so pointless, though the coolness of a €500 makes up for it.

Quick Poker Update

2008-04-06T17:04:00.000-07:00

so yeh outside of trying 12tabling FR and some 6max plo (haven't played much though), just wanted to let out a bitofa whine about my today.

- played a bit of HU on FTP (in Germany atm so i can access FTP - hadn't been able to use it on my comp in Turkey for the last 2 wks), broke about even soul crushing a TAG, but couldn't beat a passive station who floats two barrels with a gutshot + unders on paired board oop V my trips2K and c/c's my shove when he gin's me. basically I played some plo V a hyperagg guy who potraised me 3 times in med pots when i had nuts/air and it was always air + 3bet my c/r's on completed flops maybe 8/9 times and i never had a draw to rebluff with (i 4bet bruffed a TT2r though in frustration and it worked, but he was clearly overbluffy and i didn't really find enough spots to exploit him (i.e. ever have stuff).

http://www.pokerhand.org/?2394817 - this was our first showdown and my 2nd 3bet, but it was about 40 hands in (whack for plo), i figure to only lose to a random 99, and he probably b/f's A9..

http://www.pokerhand.org/?2394829 - i like the way i played it, i hadn't taken this line before either fwiw.

http://www.pokerhand.org/?2394871 - I definitely have his range destroyed here, and 'm pretty sure he pots turn a fair amount without picking up a FD.

http://www.pokerhand.org/?2394872 - the very next hand :( this line is ideal as i'm 100% we get the dbl barrels out of w/e diamonds (obv), oh wellz. also he'd flop donked twice prior to this, but i had no TP or draw.

http://www.pokerhand.org/?2394882 - blockers and counterfeit outs were plenty to convince me to go with my assumption that i was ahead here, + he 3bets any KKXY and alot of JJXY combos... ginned too coz i'm obv folding 9TQ turns.

http://www.pokerhand.org/?2394886 - i guess this was a std spot to flip in. I quit after this one, a bit annoyed about not trialing my new 2BI stoploss idea :P

The Bright Side: going to play teh live pokahz and cleen up tonight! unfortunately being 7handed with uberfish who can't really fold preflop isn't too EZ to beat. €1/€2 where most live straddle to €5 and there's a fair bit of $$ on the table. i'm in the dream seat with a ridiculous station to my left and the only other preflop raiser to my right. anyway..

eff stacks 220, no straddle guy to my right opens to €5 i make it €20 with black QQ, massive station calls, others surprisingly fold back to minopener who calls.

Flop: 9h 6h 5s, laggy guy leads €75, i push after 3/4 seconds fish calls after umm'ing and ahh'ing bettor calls. bettor tables Q9o , other fish has 34o (lol).

Turn: 7x GG

rebuy i guess :)
- meanwhile my cousin Inanc (in Turkish there is a C that makes the 'ch' sound) i sitting watching behind me thinking i'm ballz at this game, and that i must be making my money some other way ;P

a similar spot occurs to hand 1 where guy opens for €7 i make it €25 4callers this time and i Vtown the largest station (who is stuck 1.4k since i'd sat 1hr ago, lol) with a KQ on K4657 for a BI, he had A7 and called €45 on flop and a turn push XD

Hand 2: 380eff stacks straddle on, other pfr 'bumps it up' to €10 i flat Ad5d 8 runners (another guy had joined since) btw i totally wanted to have bought in for €100 and straddle then just shove every rotation getting 1/2 callers after a table limp, there's always tomorrow tho :P

Flop: 9c 5c 5s Sendit fags. Don't you love it when you know u are never not doubling up here...anyway SB leads €15, call, call i raise to €55 superfish cold calls bettor calls 1 other call.

Turn: Kh omfg i dodged a fucking club, know what.. i do run amazing. anyway check, check to me, €150 superfish folds, tabling JcQx (i must be playing live poker wrong) SB calls, other guy folds.

River Kc lol @ him getting ginned if he has a flush, but he checks and has roughly the same as me left, obv i ship the €160ish in and he schnaplarrz with K5o yay!

[..] Skalansky bux gud etc..

- so now i'm rostucko for the 4X³th time this trip so i cashed out €2k and plan on wasting it properly.

However i entered the $163 65k gtd on FTP in the hopes of getting unstuck, but:
http://www.pokerhand.org/?2394993 - its so bad V utg but w/e
http://www.pokerhand.org/?2394988 - i thought minraising would seem strongest V a shortish random, but then he CiB (which is apparently fashionable atm) hence my perceived FE increasing (obv imo for the majority tho - <3 rhymes :) so i shoved, but moreso because wheel draws are cool, so are BDFDs and i love having an over, + its funny that he beats nothing currently still in the 32k gtd tho, 66/619, not that i have any chance of running good ;P /whine i guess.

- Germany is really cool btw, so are all of my relatives here too (will post pics at some point in the near future tho) it would be a pretty choice place to live anyway.

edit: wish this part could be better, but... at least I ginned a guy http://www.pokerhand.org/?2395749 (i never get that lucky, I lol'd etc..)

http://www.pokerhand.org/?2395881 - would've finally won a chiplead pot, but i think its a decent spot to fold since i still have 2X ave stack, and i'm dead a bit.

http://www.pokerhand.org/?2396063 - he'd just recently got that stack by stealing then he took a break for the blinds, so i felt he was opening up again (he might have been though) busto for 23rd $irrelevant :( one day i'll run sickhot lik a bunch of wankers i know and win something :P

long thyme know sea

2008-03-10T15:01:00.000-07:00

hey, its a month later and i'm sick again (roo had to put up with this for years :), but at least i can get around to updating this pos. yeah so i had to edit this bit (broke up with ozge), plus met a really cool woman. She hates my blog, and doesn't want me mentioning her/putting pics up because she will be classed in same way as the random women i crap on about, blah blah blah - she's amazing, really smart, we connect quite well (most of the time), and i feel we have some good future prospects.

- So i got my monitor, its a philips 24", and i <3 it Vmuch

- need to buy a decent chair, and good wireless keyboard & mouse (hard to get non turkish ones here though) - So i've been going out alot, there are heaps of good clubs/pubs, and alot of people who enjoy getting stuck in this cycle, so its ez. They have one of those peanut places here too - where you get infinite free peanuts and throw the shells on the floor, plus $5 tequila shots (1/2 nromal price). The woman i'm seeing now bought me this cool tie for a nice dinner we got dressed up for, cousin's friends' birthdays on same date.

[..] Balla facial hair

[X] Hilarious Smile is a family trait

anyway here are my nlh and plo graphs from the hands on this computer..

i really need to play more hands, i've been a bit busy though, and i waited a fair while to get my screen, GTs now though, i still run bad in donkaments, but totally can't be fucked dredging up old hhs - u can look on my pokerhand if u can really bf'd.

also this is what my Ahud setup is like:

I really feel like putting in some hands now, but my state of mind is way too fucked due to throbbing headache, and i'm already steaming because my throat is fucked, and its hard to avoid thinking about it.

On a brighter note, Paul arrived yesterday, I'm a big fan tbqh (for those who don't know/forgot, he and his wife were living with me in Adelaide for my last few months there), and its been good to speak some proper english + hear some of his lol views, for a shyish seeming guy, he's actually a huge crackup. Apparently Belinda may come sooner than expected (5th/April), mebbe within the next 10or so days, so it'll be good to hang with both of them again in our free time (omg i can;t think sdrait atm)

- Going to Germany on the 3rd/April for 1-2wks, will see my cousin's two new children (2yrs and 6ish months - i think?), and my Auntie...Cousin runs a gym in Mannheim, so hopefully i'll get some hrs in.

- I'm due to arrive in Melbourne on the 16th/June, but may goto vegas around the time of my 21st, as there is some whack promo to get tickets there return for $68US + taxes ($400ish) effective (it involves playing a bunch of pai-gow and breaking even+ over a 10k turnover.

[..] Not Fake

- anyway i'll try and update more, i've actually got some cool stories of places i've been, dinner's i've cooked (wheee), good movies i've seen (btw, The Prestige is fucking amazing), but my accuracy isn't really spot on, + partner doesn't want me going into much detail :(

peace

poker update..

2008-02-07T18:26:00.000-08:00

Been sick recently (apfu), not eating after 4 and staying up late every night probably helps but w/e..

so i start the day finally playing properly rolled 1/2, drop 4 BIs to guy with a bunch of leaks...

featuring great lines like this: Hand #2061131

and a slowroll, lol: Hand #2063158

jarred was playing a bunch of tournaments so i decided to cool off and join (also i played him in a best of 5 huplo sngs laying him 1.25 - 1 on his $100 and won :)

FTOPS #2

Hand #2063153 - I > Andy Bloch

Hand #2063158 - he runs better though

Hand #2063188 - ich bin gut, ja?

Hand #2063385 - weird one..idk if i can raise flop here, i think i played it fine

Hand #2063437 - i think i played this fine..maybe i can raise the turn, but i'm overrepping AK etc..+ i think he wanted to bust me because i 3bet him a fair bit, hence his call with the 66XYhand.

Hand #2063462 - was going to take my shot here..vom i guess

Hand #2063467 - back in the game :)

Hand #2063564 - i like my line here alot..

Hand #2063614 - [X] lucksack for peeling off brick, but i like the line alot, and way probably betting a spade.

Hand #2063617 - know ur opponent imo

Hand #2064003 - lol at this guy..he was coming after me alot.

Hand #2064383 - obviously i stopped recording hands for a while, but w/e Scott is a limping fish (i do like his line here though), finished 48th for $544 + 2KOs ($40 each - 1 was split though :/)
fwiw

- anyway feel like i played really well overall, i missed i good squeeze spot which would have doubled me up, but still kinda happy now that i got unstuck for the day playing some HU and PLO6max. Hand #2064952 - anyone ever b/f here?

- still in the $150 +13 donkament with an 80k pool 6th/123 atm with 54 paying...

Hand #2065628 - i'm gud

Hand #2065662 - [..] won crucial flip to take 2nd place in chips

Hand #2065677 - made a fabulous payoff, now 56/115 :(

Hand #2065788 - 2/77 now :)

Hand #2065952 - 10/26 after this one, btw i <3 my line, looks super strong.

I didn't click save HHs on this computer, UTG opens to 7001 (1.5k/3k 500 ante) shorty pushes for 30k, i over push from button with 88 (for 103k) get called by UTG who has AK, shorty has AQ, flop is Qx 6h4h (i'm the only one with hearts), turn is the Ac (at least make it Ah amirite?) and river is a Kball. finished 19th for $360...FFMFS i am 0 and fucking 5 with winning chiplead pots deep in tournaments - would have had 90k lead over 2nd place in this one... oh wells some good missed opportunities i guess :(

laterzzz